A letter from Cameroon

I write you from the mission field in Cameroon

I am a missionary whose ministry started very early in life

I became born again when I was in JSS3

The power of the Holy spirit was immediately evident upon my life

On numerous occasions, before I was even fifteen years old,

I had conducted deliverance and healing crusades in secondary schools

My friends called me Pneuma, the Greek word for the wind because the power of the Holy Spirit

was always present in my ministrations

As an undergraduate, I did mighty wonders in the name of the name of the Lord

I was not the type of person anybody can ever say would be able to fit into any other

mold but the ministry

Though I studied accounting and did excellently well in it, it was just to fulfil all righteousness

I graduated at 22

The moment I graduated, I embarked on my first missionary journey through west Africa

I liaised with many churches and we formed a strong network for follow up and evangelism

There were signs and wonders aplenty in my ministry

It was not a surprise!

I was called to be an evangelist

I usually embark on missions for nine months of the year

I spend three days at home planning my next trip, raising resources and ministering

in local churches to raise awareness and give a report of the work we are doing

On my sixth year in the mission field, some senior pastors called me aside and

told me to seek the face of the Lord regarding a life partner

I had thought along those lines too and their words were well timed

I took two years leave off the mission field

I enrolled for my masters in divinity at a Bible college and prayed earnestly about

finding my own wife

I didn’t have a dream, neither did I see a vision   

Two months after I started praying and waiting on the Lord, I met a lady

She came to me for counselling

She had been having spirit husband problem for many years and the problem had taken

to all sorts of spiritualists, churches, pastors and shepherds

She was a virgin, 29 years old but she had never had any relationship of note

Men simply don’t want her beyond friendship

She was a prayerful woman

The first time I saw her praying, I marveled at how deep her passion was

She was literarily weeping through the worship session during the Sunday service

Wow!

When she told me her spiritual challenge, I just laughed

Someone like her shouldn’t have such a spiritual challenge

He that is joined together with the Lord is one body!

I opened her eyes to the word of truth and told her to go to her father’s house and

burn all the spiritual materials and talismans she had accumulated

over the years in the name of fighting a spirit husband

She burnt them all

She fasted and prayed and I laid hands on her to empower her in her inner man.

Soon afterwards we became friends

I was careful to spell out who I was and what I do clearly to her

She was a career woman whose contribution to her organization has made

indispensable to the organization

She was a chartered accountant!

Whenever I paid her a visit in her father’s house, I would hear her praying

and worshipping God in the spirit

O what joy those “Moments” brought to me

She was as deep into this as I was

WOW!

She was as committed, dedicated and sold out to the Lord as I was

WOW!!

Sometimes she would come to my house in company of her friends or sometimes alone

and she would meet me praying either alone or in company of my friends

She would join us and we would have a glorious time

I have no doubt in my heart she was a child of God

She told me she gave her life to Christ four years before I did and she had been

under the teaching of great men and women of God

She had books, tapes, songs, bibles, Ipods full of Christian materials and resources

WOW!

She was attending the church of one of the most respected men of God in the world,

she was a worker in the church, a cell leader and a member of the team

sponsoring missionaries financially throughout the world

She was also in the drama team and she had been on mission fields

outside of the country twice

She prays in tongues, sings in tongues and she had the gift of dreams and visions

She was a ministry asset

Two years after we met, I proposed

She said yes!

We had a glorious wedding

We had a glorious honey moon

She got pregnant

We had a baby girl

And she changed!

She stopped praying!

When I complained, she shouted me down!

It was her spiritual life and she is accountable only to God!

I wanted to return to the mission field

She refused!

Pastors got involved

She had her way

I was given a local parish to pastor close to our house

When we were together in the car and I was praying or singing,

she would tell me to keep quiet, she needed to listen to the radio or the news

When I told her I don’t understand what was going on, she said I should have

married Jesus because it seemed all I ever truly loved is God

and I have no love or affection for her

The complaints came in like a flood!

I pray too much

I am too passionate about Jesus

I am too passionate about ministry

I care for my spiritual children than my own family

I fast too much, I pray too much, I am too hard, I am not soft…

I endured this for a while but decided to give in to her demands

I stopped praying for so long

I stopped fasting

I stopped listening to sermons or spiritual songs all the time

I bought secular songs (but decent ones)

I didn’t go on any mission trip

I started paying attention to her only

She was happy

She had won

She got pregnant with our second child

I had a few months’ respite

As soon as she became a little heavy

She started accusing me of imaginary crimes

I am cheating on her

I have backslidden

I am no longer listening to sermons and tapes

I now listen to secular music

I have gone the way of the world

I no longer have the fear of God

She would sit up all night checking my phone for compromising messages

She would ban, banish and threaten to insult certain church members if

she sees them around me

I didn’t understand what she wanted

I thought it was the pregnancy

She delivered

She said “I regret marrying a pastor, if I had my way I wouldn’t have married a pastor”

But we had the discussion before we married and she said “she prayed that God

would give her a pastor as a husband, s

he swore it was her dream come true to marry a pastor”

She had threatened several times to leave,

claiming it was only because of her children that she had stayed in the marriage

This is a woman who had blossomed and flourished in my home

She was at the peak of her career and head hunters are always swarming around her to give her better offers

She travels all over the world for at least half of the year and I take care of the children

I have never accused or even suspected her of infidelity but she had accused me of giving her sexually transmitted infection only to say later that she wasn’t sure what she had was an STI

I have never raised my hand against her before

She eats what she wants, goes wherever she wants, does whatever she wants and yet she is unsatisfied with me

I can never do anything right

If I stay at home, she will complain I didn’t go to work

If I go to work she will complain I don’t stay at home

If I play with the children, I am spending “Plastic time”

If a lady greets me and I respond, I am cultivating the attention

If a lady greets me and I ignore her, I am proud

If I take her out on a date “I am bribing her”

If I complement her looks, she would say “Is today Christmas?”

If I don’t complement her looks, she would say “You cannot tell your own wife she is beautiful”

The funny thing is, “I used to ignore her and refused to allow her eccentricities affect my fellowship with the Holy Spirit! This used to infuriate her the more! And whenever I put her matter to mind, I find myself unhappy and depressed!”

I can never do anything right in her eyes

I have noticed the marital relationship of many believers like me tilting towards this direction once too often

I had promised myself my marriage would not end up in a mess

I did all I could, I promise you, I left nothing undone

I used to tell her everything until I noticed she lacked the maturity to process information and she would use what I told her to react to those who confided in me

I learnt the hard way to keep my mouth shut and now “I am keeping secrets from her and she can never trust me again”

I love her

She says she loves me

But I am just fed up

Since we got married, I had been the only one making adjustments and concessions for her

Her own position remains the same

She is immovable, like Gibraltar

If I dare to complain about anything, she would start crying “I know you never loved me”

When she makes any foolish decision, which is often, my love must cover a multitude of faults but let me make such a mistake

Heaven would fall, my ears would be stung by her viperous fangs

We once went to see an elderly couple for counselling

They listened to the two of us carefully

But they didn’t rebuke or vilify me the way she wanted

As soon as we left their house, she started disrespecting them! Calling them names

Whenever we have a disagreement, she would be screaming on my head

Even though I would keep my own voice down, she would announce to the whole neighbourhood that we were having a disagreement

It got to a point I had to ask myself if she was born again

She had no passion for the word, prayer (Unless she had a bad dream or one of her family members was in a jam), evangelism, worship, humanity, generosity, compassion and so on

There was no evidence of spiritual growth whatsoever in her life

She does not read the bible, observe quiet time or even pray in the spirit (except when we are in church)

Whenever she sees three or four people who know the two of us, she would steer the conversation towards me. “Hmm, my man of God is not romantic, he likes his children more than me, he buys his children things all the time but forgets me, he encourages all those girls to chase him, he likes the attention, he is a fantastic man of God but a failure as a husband…”

I tried to keep out of her way as much as possible because being close to her and seeing how she treats and talk about me hurts my soul.

That started another war!

‘Your love became conditional upon my proper behavior, and you call yourself a pastor, Jesus loves me the way I am, practice what you preach”

I think her mission in life is to drive me into an early grave

She is winning

She must not win

That is why I am writing this

If you hear that my marriage broke into pieces, don’t bother to play the role of a peace maker

I will not reconsider, I will not reconsider

It is better to be single and happy than to be married to a bitter, unhappy and godless woman!

I have said my piece

PS:

I took a week off to see things at the mission field in Cameroon, I dread the day I will return home

I am happy now, far away from her and in my place of primary assignment and calling

Unless I know what to do, I promise you, I just might not return home

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Beloved, let us remember this home and many others like it in our prayers today, let us also offer him some counsel as the spirit directs. 

Please note this, many ministers of God are going through waters like this, it is an indirect attack of the evil one on their ministries. Some of them are at fault, others are not. Whatever the case may be we do not want Christian homes broken for any reason.

As you pray for them, God will bless your homes and order your footsteps in Jesus name