Bestie 2

Good afternoon Brother Gbenga, 
I saw your thread this morning. 
The one on the guy who ran away 
with the bestie. 
I wanted to engage the thread directly 
but I felt it would be better to reach out 
to you and tell the story the right way. 
I will try not to be right or wrong, 
I promise
I was two years older than him. 
I am not a child!
 I know ladies are way more mature than 
men and it wasn’t my desire to miss out 
on marrying right. 
So when he came at me with all the marry 
me stuff, I said No! 
I insisted he must never talk about it again. 
We can only be friends!
He agreed! 
We met in Germany! 
My father was in the US Army for many years 
and he was stationed in Germany, working 
with NATO forces! 
That was how he met my mother and how 
they had me! 
My mother was a beneficiary of a scholarship 
grant in Germany at the time but she was a 
lecturer
With a Nigerian university too! 
His father was also in the Army! 
It was the Nigerian church that we all 
attend in Germany! 
It was his mother’s death that brought us 
together! 
He loved me from the moment we met!
 He took to me as a source of comfort and 
I gave him a reason to live
When he got back on his feet, 
his father decided he had to return to 
Nigeria in order to have friends and family 
members around him! 
His father was still in the Army and was 
going on tour to Afghanistan! 
That was how he returned to Nigeria to 
study and live with his mother’s folks
I was the only constant in his life! 
Helping him cope! 
I was in love with him, I didn’t know 
this immediately but at a point I realized 
he was always in my conscious and 
subconscious thoughts! 
When I had other suitors, I realized I was 
impatient with them 
I deliberately created space for him and 
didn’t want him to become unsettled if 
he saw me with somebody else! 
I had no doubt that he loved me! 
I was only hopeful that he would meet 
a girl and get married! 
That way, I would know someone else 
is responsible for him while I move on 
with my life!
Then he met this lady! 
He really liked her and he told me so! 
I was happy for him because I had 
someone else asking me out too! 
Then this lady told him to lock me out, 
shut me out! 
Wind things down! 
Destroy our thirteen years of friendship! 
Because she was Queen Conan the Barbarian!
Who was she? 
Was I not the one that encouraged him 
to pursue her and give her whatever 
it took to convince her of his love? 
I was part of the process! 
The gifts and the lyrics! 
I was the sounding board he bounced 
his ideas through before delivering them 
to her!
I was the X factor
She was so graceless! 
Sometimes he would call me on a hidden 
number because she would pick his phone 
and check his call logs to monitor his 
calls to me! 
At a point he stopped calling all together! 
Because she asked him! 
Because he wanted to please me and 
make it work at all cost!
He was miserable without me I was 
miserable without him 
Perhaps we could have coped if she
 allowed us access to each other and 
didn’t act all toxic! 
I knew he was making a mistake but 
when I tried telling him that on the phone 
he said “Neither of us will move on” if 
we both keep finding fault in other people 
that we got involved with romantically! 
I realized he was determined to marry her 
Not because he loved her 
But because he wants me to be free to 
pursue other love interests too! 
So I came home to support him as the 
wedding day drew close! 
I got to Lagos before I called him! 
He came around to see me at the hotel! 
As soon as we saw each other, we 
couldn’t stop crying! 
He hugged me 
He kissed me 
His tears were running all over me! 
We were soulmates 
It was obvious 
He kissed me 
I kissed him back 
It was like detonating a bomb!
We made love! 
Afterward, he said he wanted to marry me! 
I still wasn’t too sure! 
I told him I will spend a week with him to 
get “US” out of his system and return to 
Germany! 
He will still marry his wife knowing he 
got to sleep with me before the vows 
and technically didn’t cheat on her! 
He accepted 
We went to Abuja 
He was with me But it wasn’t enough 
for either of us! 
We couldn’t let each other go 
So we decided to get married 
Why do we have to lie to each other? 
Why allow his “bride” marry him knowing 
he was in love with someone else? 
#She really dodged a bullet! 
And she should be grateful! 
The damage done was not irreparable and 
there was no attempt to hoodwink her and 
make her feel like she was dumped 
because she wasn’t good enough! 
We were decent that way! 
We both thought about what to write to 
explain to her what happened
We couldn’t come up with anything 
reasonable! 
Love happened 
Life happened 
Of course she wouldn’t get it! 
Nobody playing or forming victim ever does 
But he wasn’t her man and 
it wasn’t meant to be! 
That’s all there is to this issue! 
And we left everything behind, 
even some cash meant for the wedding! 
He didn’t have the heart to go back 
for material things 
I get that 
His stay here was for a temporary season 
His life was always in Germany and with me! 
Everybody should understand that! 
Right? 
So why pretend it wasn’t for the best? 
Would she have preferred to marry him 
when he obviously doesn’t love her 
enough? 
I insist that she should be grateful 
she wasn’t trapped in a marriage with a 
man who loves another woman 
By the way, I was the one who told him 
to introduce your website to her! 
I was always the one his heart bled for, 
not her!

Ps: There is a love that reflects, 
There is a love that is reflected 
There is also a love that ponders 
There is a love that is pondered 
There is a love that is manufactured 
There is a love that is natural 
The things that are made are temporal, 
but the things unmade are eternal

This is the link to Bestie 1 for those who desire 

to read the full story

Bestie I https://gbengawemimo.com/post/bestie-i