Good afternoon Brother Gbenga,
I saw your thread this morning.
The one on the guy who ran away
with the bestie.
I wanted to engage the thread directly
but I felt it would be better to reach out
to you and tell the story the right way.
I will try not to be right or wrong,
I was two years older than him.
I am not a child!
I know ladies are way more mature than
men and it wasn’t my desire to miss out
on marrying right.
So when he came at me with all the marry
me stuff, I said No!
I insisted he must never talk about it again.
We can only be friends!
We met in Germany!
My father was in the US Army for many years
and he was stationed in Germany, working
with NATO forces!
That was how he met my mother and how
they had me!
My mother was a beneficiary of a scholarship
grant in Germany at the time but she was a
With a Nigerian university too!
His father was also in the Army!
It was the Nigerian church that we all
attend in Germany!
It was his mother’s death that brought us
He loved me from the moment we met!
He took to me as a source of comfort and
I gave him a reason to live
When he got back on his feet,
his father decided he had to return to
Nigeria in order to have friends and family
members around him!
His father was still in the Army and was
going on tour to Afghanistan!
That was how he returned to Nigeria to
study and live with his mother’s folks
I was the only constant in his life!
Helping him cope!
I was in love with him, I didn’t know
this immediately but at a point I realized
he was always in my conscious and
When I had other suitors, I realized I was
impatient with them
I deliberately created space for him and
didn’t want him to become unsettled if
he saw me with somebody else!
I had no doubt that he loved me!
I was only hopeful that he would meet
a girl and get married!
That way, I would know someone else
is responsible for him while I move on
with my life!
Then he met this lady!
He really liked her and he told me so!
I was happy for him because I had
someone else asking me out too!
Then this lady told him to lock me out,
shut me out!
Wind things down!
Destroy our thirteen years of friendship!
Because she was Queen Conan the Barbarian!
Who was she?
Was I not the one that encouraged him
to pursue her and give her whatever
it took to convince her of his love?
I was part of the process!
The gifts and the lyrics!
I was the sounding board he bounced
his ideas through before delivering them
I was the X factor
She was so graceless!
Sometimes he would call me on a hidden
number because she would pick his phone
and check his call logs to monitor his
calls to me!
At a point he stopped calling all together!
Because she asked him!
Because he wanted to please me and
make it work at all cost!
He was miserable without me I was
miserable without him
Perhaps we could have coped if she
allowed us access to each other and
didn’t act all toxic!
I knew he was making a mistake but
when I tried telling him that on the phone
he said “Neither of us will move on” if
we both keep finding fault in other people
that we got involved with romantically!
I realized he was determined to marry her
Not because he loved her
But because he wants me to be free to
pursue other love interests too!
So I came home to support him as the
wedding day drew close!
I got to Lagos before I called him!
He came around to see me at the hotel!
As soon as we saw each other, we
couldn’t stop crying!
He hugged me
He kissed me
His tears were running all over me!
We were soulmates
It was obvious
He kissed me
I kissed him back
It was like detonating a bomb!
We made love!
Afterward, he said he wanted to marry me!
I still wasn’t too sure!
I told him I will spend a week with him to
get “US” out of his system and return to
He will still marry his wife knowing he
got to sleep with me before the vows
and technically didn’t cheat on her!
We went to Abuja
He was with me But it wasn’t enough
for either of us!
We couldn’t let each other go
So we decided to get married
Why do we have to lie to each other?
Why allow his “bride” marry him knowing
he was in love with someone else?
#She really dodged a bullet!
And she should be grateful!
The damage done was not irreparable and
there was no attempt to hoodwink her and
make her feel like she was dumped
because she wasn’t good enough!
We were decent that way!
We both thought about what to write to
explain to her what happened
We couldn’t come up with anything
Of course she wouldn’t get it!
Nobody playing or forming victim ever does
But he wasn’t her man and
it wasn’t meant to be!
That’s all there is to this issue!
And we left everything behind,
even some cash meant for the wedding!
He didn’t have the heart to go back
for material things
I get that
His stay here was for a temporary season
His life was always in Germany and with me!
Everybody should understand that!
So why pretend it wasn’t for the best?
Would she have preferred to marry him
when he obviously doesn’t love her
I insist that she should be grateful
she wasn’t trapped in a marriage with a
man who loves another woman
By the way, I was the one who told him
to introduce your website to her!
I was always the one his heart bled for,
Ps: There is a love that reflects,
There is a love that is reflected
There is also a love that ponders
There is a love that is pondered
There is a love that is manufactured
There is a love that is natural
The things that are made are temporal,
but the things unmade are eternal
This is the link to Bestie 1 for those who desire
to read the full story
Bestie I https://gbengawemimo.com/post/bestie-i