Binding Cord?

As much as possible, i beg you, 
before you marry into any family 
be sure you want to marry into 
the family
Be convinced
Dont marry into a family you hate 
or do not understand properly 
because you love their son or 
their daughter
Dont tear the family apart for 
your selfish reasons 
While we were undergraduates, 
my brother started going out 
with a lady. 
She was a believer, quiet, and 
very reserved. 
They met each other while they 
were in 100 level. 
I joined the same school a year later 
and I realized something quite odd
 about my brother and this lady.
When i walk into the cafeteria and 
see them together, my brother would 
hesitate before coming over to say 
hello to me. 
His babe's body language would 
immediately change. 
I was the older brother but I was in 
100 level at the time and they were in 
200 level, she found it difficult to 
greet me
We rarely exchanged a word of greeting
She would just look away or uninterested 
whenever our paths crossed
I didn't see it as anything at the time
That year during the long holiday, she 
came home with my brother to spend 
some time with my family
She stayed in a room 
throughout
My brother would take food to her and 
stay with her in that room
She wouldn't join anything we did as 
a family
I and my brother were the only boys 
in the family
We were very close but her presence 
killed the closeness
On Christmas day, while we were 
eating and making merry
She and my brother didn't join us
They said they were fasting
My mother got worried and called 
me into her room
She said "Is there something I am 
not doing right? Is your brother's 
intended crossed with me in any way? 
Was the food we made not good 
enough?"
I told my mother 
it was nothing of that sort
The lady was the only daughter of 
a widow
She grew up with only her brother 
and mother as her family and they 
had accused her late father's family 
of being behind his death, so they 
kept away from the family.
The lady was just not used to 
large family stuff
My mother was placated
I was in a relationship at the time too 
but my mother did not approve of 
the lady was dating for some reason
So I was practically dating the lady 
in defiance
We resumed school and I met my 
brother's babe at the cafeteria one 
day, she was with one of her friends
As soon as I came into the cafeteria 
she turned away from me as if we 
were not practically sleeping under 
the same roof a few days before 
that day
When I saw my brother, I asked him
if I had offended his babe in any way
He said I shouldn't bother myself 
about it 
That's her nature
I shrugged and left it
The next holiday mt brother went to 
Akure to meet with her mother and 
brother
It felt as if they were getting pretty 
serious about getting married
My younger sister called me and said 
"Your mummy is not happy, let me 
just tell you that, you do not call her 
regularly from school like before. 
I started laughing. 
I never had a good calling culture and 
everyone knew that. 
So why would my mother make an 
issue of that.
 My sister said "I am not talking about y
ou, I am talking about your brother!"
My brother was the social one
The one that will engage the public 
and laugh with everyone
I was the shy one, the loner
It seemed my mother had practically 
been neglected by both of us
One day my brother came to my 
room out of the blue just as they 
were resuming their final year
He said he is breaking it off
I asked why
He said his babe said she couldn't 
cope with the problem of family 
members and would like them to 
buy a farm far away and live in the 
farm all alone
My brother (owns a farm now) had 
always said he would own a farm and 
all after graduating but he never said 
it would be at Kahalahari desert!
He said he had tried to show her that 
our family is warm and welcoming 
and all but she still didn't loosen up
He said he was dying in silence 
because he was not being himself 
while he was with her
He had to ignore his friends and 
pretend he was fine lurking in the 
shadows when he would have 
preferred to be out there doing 
his thing
A week later, they broke up
After they had ended it, my brother 
started coming to my room more 
and we got much closer (He was 
already in the final year and I was 
in 300 level)
When I met the Holy Spirit on 
September 17, 2007 he was the one 
I went to for explanations about many 
things
We still minister together today
He is happily married and so am I
The two families spend a lot of good 
time together
It was what my mother and any 
other mother would pray for
That their children would bond and 
have a lot in common and be bound
in the cord of sincere love
A family divided is of no use to society 
and we shouldn't have to encourage 
dysfunctionality as the new norm
If you marry into a family, please don't 
tear the family apart! Do your best to 
encourage bonding and togetherness
Thank you