Bisi's Bane

They met at the Bible School 
She was a principal, a mother of four 
He was a contractor, a father of two 
He was about five years younger than 
her 
Her husband was a pastor 
One of the trusted hands of the General 
Overseer of their ministry 
Her husband was also an unrepentant 
cheat
After several marriage counseling sessions 
and mediations, she moved out of her
 matrimonial home in protest because 
he refused to change 
She found evidence that flies young 
ladies with him from Nigeria to the UK  
and the USA just to have sex with them
When she saw the evidence, she took
it to their General Overseer as proof of 
her husband's wrongdoing 
The General Overseer was enraged and 
sacked her husband as a result 
That was the unofficial end of their marriage 
Her husband started claiming she ruined 
his life by taking away his source of 
livelihood and ruining his reputation 
All she had in mind was her desire for 
him to change She meant him no evil 
whatsoever 
She believed if she didn't do whatever 
it took to turn him away from hell before 
he dies, God will require his blood from 
her hands 
Her action was taken in bad faith 
Her husband played the victim card and 
left their home in Ikorodu permanently 
She was left to cope with the children 
Financially, he supported the children 
directly by depositing their allowances 
into their bank accounts every week 
but he treated her like poison and 
stayed far away from her
Ironically, barely two months after he was 
sacked in the church where they spent 
13 years together, he was offered the 
position of a board member in another 
ministry and offered a lot of money to 
manage their media and publishing 
department 
It came as no surprise to her in any way 
Her husband was a genius of a sort 
He was a first-class graduate of literature, 
an orator that stirs the heart of men easily 
and a consultant of a sort to many pastors, 
prophets and General Overseers. 
He has a well-known name and reputation 
among church leaders and was seen
generally as an asset 
She had gambled with her marriage and 
failed woefully 
She couldn't tell which was more painful 
Staying with him while he cheated over 
and over or being separated from him 
and watching him live like a free bird 
without a care in the world about her feelings
It was a hard pill to swallow 
She had been told by her father several 
years before when she brought her 
husband home before they got married 
that such would happen to her later 
in life 
Her father was a very rich man who 
married many wives and fathered many 
children 
Her father abandoned her mother 
(The first wife) after about fifteen years 
of marriage because her mother refused 
to share him with anybody 
To her father, having so much money 
while being constrained to spend it as 
he wanted was the ultimate sin 
He believed if he wanted to acquire wives, 
it was within his right 
Women flocked around him daily because 
of his wealth and he felt it would be sheer 
wickedness and spite not to see that 
he was the answer to the prayers of those 
women whose other choice was to marry 
poor and die poor 
When her mother moved out of her father's 
house shortly after her father married the 
second wife 
Her mother took her and her sisters with her 
Her father insisted on keeping the only son 
her mother bore for him under his roof 
Her father told her mother she was making 
a mistake by tearing the family apart and 
not preparing their daughters for the harsh 
realities of life Her mother simply couldn't 
cope with the dynamics of a polygamous 
home especially because she was a born 
again Christian. 
She was thirteen years old at the time and 
felt her mother's pain but her younger 
sisters cried everyday that they wanted 
to return to their father's house 
They cried until they fell seriously ill 
Eventually, their mother had to return 
her sisters to their father's house 
She was the only one who stayed with 
her mother 
She couldn't leave her alone and she 
really felt her father was very unfair 
Contrary to their fears, her sisters and 
brother thrived with their father 
Their father shielded all the children 
away from his wives 
He got governesses, cooks and nurses 
to raise all the children in one house 
while he lived alone 
He built a house each for his three other
wives and related with them and his other 
girlfriends as he pleased 
Her mother believed his life was sinful 
and an insult to God 
Her mother didn't remarry or take any
 lover 
She just talked about him in bitterness 
and anger every day 
She even blamed him for taking her 
other daughters from her and insisted 
his wives were responsible for every 
bad dream, disappointment, and mishap 
she faced in life 
Even she knew her mother exaggerated 
most of the time but it was a tough deal 
to have a home and suddenly find yourself 
single and abandoned by a man who 
claimed to love you 
She met her husband when she was in 
the final year at the university 
He was a member of their campus fellowship 
When she took him home, her mother 
accepted him with joy but when she took 
him to her father, her father called her 
into the room and said "You shouldn't 
be getting married yet! 
You are not ready 
You spent your life listening to the bitter 
tales your mother told you and filling 
your head with a lopsided view of men! 
Look at your sisters, see how balanced 
their lives are? 
I never told them anything negative 
about your mother I allowed them to
grow in a neutral atmosphere of love 
and happiness 
I know I made a lot of crazy decisions 
that hurt your mother but did you ever 
hear me speak about the time your 
mother poured acid on my clothes 
and shoes because i wanted to go to 
a party and she felt i was going there 
to see a lady? 
Have you ever heard from me that 
your mother poured salt in the engine 
of three of my cars because she suspected 
I was using the cars to carry women? 
Do you know your mother wakes up 
every night cursing me and praying 
that i should be pulled down and made 
poor again because riches and wealth 
do not fit me? 
(She knew about the last point. 
It was her mother's constant prayer 
That God should take away her father's 
wealth so that his affection would 
return to her.) 
Her mother believed she lost control 
of her home because of the root of 
evil (Money) which took away her 
husband's affection 
Her father told her all he could see in 
her was her mother and for that reason, 
her marriage would fail woefully 
because she would follow the same 
pattern 
According to her father, the only solution 
was for her to tell the young man to wait
for at least a year 
During that year, she would come and live 
with him so that he can attempt to 
brainwash her and forge a positive perception 
of men in her heart. He offered to give her 
and her husband to be a job in his marble 
company and keep her as his personal 
assistant for the duration! 
Her mother said no!
She got married three months later 
Thirteen years later, the marriage crashed 
She joined the Bible School to grow 
Somehow, she met the young contractor 
One day, the young contractor asked if 
she would like to accompany him to a 
place of relaxation...
At first, she thought he meant somewhere
like the beach or a garden
He told her he felt she needed to relax
and so did her
He was also facing some marital challenges
at the time and she was aware of it
She told him they could go somewhere
together the following Saturday
Although she and her husband didn't
divorce officially
She had been abandoned to her own
devises
She didn't see any harm in going 
somewhere with a friend to relax and
talk
He took her to a hotel with a swimming
pool
He told her they would just sit by the
pool and relax
He booked a room and told her it
was for their privacy in case they got
wet and needed to shower and change
It was a day of fun for her
Her children were left in care of the
minder
Her first son was already fourteen years
old
The second and third were twins, aged
twelve and her only daughter was nine
years old
He swam, the ate and talked and read
and then he swam again
At a point, he threw water at her and
asked her to jump into the pool but
she couldn't swim and she didn't have
a swimming suit (Even if she did, she
wouldn't expose her body like that in
public)
When it was four pm, they decided to
leave
He gave her the key to the room and
told her to go and freshen up
Indeed, she was sweaty and her
clothes were a bit wet due to his antics
When she got to the room, she went
straight to the bathroom to shower
When she emerged from the bathroom
he was by the door
He was stark naked
Before she knew it, David had thrown
the stone and it hit Goliath straight
on the forehead
Goliath was caught unawares
When David was done, he decided to
do another round
Goliath also didn't mind dying again
so they did a replay
They spent five hours in that room
It was as if the sun should standstill
It was the most horrible thing she
ever did in her life and yet she didn't
want it to end
She couldn't sleep that night
She laid awake and relived the events
of the day
He came to see her the following day
and told her he wanted to take her 
shopping
He changed her entire wardrobe
Gone was the turban-wearing, religious
woman
The funny thing was, the church didn't
bother following her up or asking 
questions
They simply left her to find her own path
She told herself she wouldn't die
lonely and broken like her mother
They continued to play David and Goliath
until his wife caught them red-handed
making love in a hotel
His wife had followed them and she 
brought two other witnesses from the
church
Her husband heard of it and filed for
divorce
The court awarded him the custody
of the children because she didn't
bother showing up to contest anything
He had told her he would drag her 
through the mud badly if she showed
up at the court
Two months after the divorce, her lover
left her
He said he had discovered that what 
they were doing was wrong and had
repented
She thought it was a joke but he did
indeed returned to his wife 
She was broken by his betrayal
She had no husband, no church to return
to and no children to relate with
She was alone and all she had was
her job
She met another guy at work
A teacher at the school where she
worked
She was searching for love and care
but she didn't know how to get it
The teacher was ten years younger than
her
They started having sex and within 
three months she realized she was giving
him practically anything he asked for
He moved into her house with his mother
and relatives and she began to fend for
all of them
Whenever she was alone, she would come
to her senses and swear it was over
but once she was in his presence, it felt
as if she just caved in on the inside
After one year of torture, by this time
she had sold her land at Igbogbo and
given the money to him and also transferred
the ownership of two of her cars to him
Her younger sister came to visit her
and saw the big hole she had dug for
herself
Her younger sister found a way to get
her to Theikos Doxa on a Sunday
They met with the Brother in Jeans and
T-shirt and explained what was going
on
He told her the parable of the dead meat
He said vultures and other scavengers
keep away from the living and the injured
but would circle a carcass and pick its
bones dry
The perils of living a worldly life is heavy on
the worldly
A sinful lifestyle is a heavy yoke on the soul
and an open door to demonic afflictions
Jesus called unbelievers those who labour 
and are heavy ladened
She got the message
She repented
They joined hands and started to pray
The Holy Spirit stirred in her once again
She prayed and cried until she was 
emboldened once again by the Holy Spirit
While going home that day, she branched
at the police station to report that her
house was being looted by strangers
and she wanted them out
Two police officers followed her home
She cleared the house of the teacher
and all his relatives
She also collected her two cars from
him claiming the cars were obtained 
under duress
The teacher's charms failed over her
completely
He called her name over and over
saying "I command you to come to
your senses"
She just laughed at him
She was in her senses for the first
in a year!
Twenty-one days later, she took the
bold step to visit her ex-husband's 
house so that she can see her children
She was neither bitter nor angry with
him for the first time in many years
She had made her wrong turns just like
him and couldn't find any reason to
judge him
He welcomed her with open arms
He invited her over the following weekend
to help out with the children due to
the lockdown
He had to work and he wanted to ensure
the children's education didn't suffer
He asked her to move into the guest
room for the time being
They related like old friends and 
started bonding with their children
again
In April, she went into his room to beg
for his forgiveness
She had waited for him to say sorry
but it seemed he wouldn't do so as
he considered the divorce as a definite
end to whatever they had done to each 
other in the past
He told her they had a clean record
and whatever she did after the divorce
was her business
She reached out to the Brother in jeans
and T-shirt
"I want him back! Can I have him back?"
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt told
her to be patient
In May 2020, one of his pastor friends
died of complications arising from
Covid-19
He returned home with a heart full of
sorrow and locked himself in his room
Later in the night, she took his meal
to his room and somehow consoled
him the way Rebecca consoled Isaac
After that consolation experience,
she was promoted from the guest room
to his room
The pains of yesteryears faded
They decided to raise their children
as a family and ensure the children
didn't repeat the same mistakes they
did

PS: There are things we experience that
prompts us to press certain buttons
in life that leads us into certain realities
I know a lady who married a faithful
husband
Her father was a cheat and she hounded
that man until he started cheating
She told him a man who doesn't cheat
on his wife was not worth marrying
and unworthy of her respect
So he cheated on her once and she
started crying that he was unfaithful
When she told me the story, i almost
couldn't close my mouth
Of course,  there are factors at play
that are psychological and emotional
due to her background
The couple above are learning to love
each other again at Anthony Village
Lagos!

GSW's notes: Foolishness is when a 
woman or a man keeps a memory of
their partner's past sins or indiscretions
or alleged wrongs and keeps talking 
about it several years after the incidence
Women or men who do this are marriage
killers who live in a delusion that obscures
their reality
Jesus said to forgive
When you don't forgive
You set a snare for yourself