Sometimes marriage hurts
It hurts for so many reasons
Sometimes the spouse on either or both sides just falls below expectation
Sometimes the spouse on either or both sides are just too opposite
There was an old saying "Opposites attract"
The saying still goes in many relationships and marriages
A quiet man would marry a garrulous woman
A quiet lady will marry a larger than life personality
A generous woman would marry a stingy man
A lazy mind will target and marry a brilliant spouse
A peace loving person will marry a violent person
A choleric will marry a phlegmatic
Ordinarily, these types of unions have a fifty percent chance of success
When you add family interference
Friends and financial issues
The social media lies and all sorts of ideologies being peddled nowadays
Marriage becomes a warzone
The lady earns independently and doesn't need the husband
The Husband also adjusts his thinking to the fact that the lady is earning
He tells himself "Our combined resources will give us a duplex"
Even though his own pay was sufficient for them to live in a two bedroom apartment
In some cases the couple combine efforts and thrive
in other cases the combination of efforts is a disadvantage
He met his wife in law school
He loved her from the moment he set his eyes on her
She was not one of those "First class" chasers
She was one of those "destined for success" type
She had a drive and an eye for business like no other
For her the law profession was not a passion
She wouldn't be chasing lost causes and prosecuting criminals
She was in it for the business deals and commissions!
When they got a little close and he saw how ambitious she was
His respect for her soared!
She already had a working relationship with some companies and NGO's
She made sure many of such were legally registered in the country
Her target was to liaise them with similar organizations abroad
Help them process grants and AID packages
And make her commissions!
She had invested in an onlime business school while she was still an undergradute
He had a passion for criminal law
He wanted to see the downtrodden get some justice
He has a heart of gold and wanted to put it to work in the defence of humanity
He waited iuntil they finished their graduation before proposing
She said yes immediately
She wanted to marry early and have her children while she was still young
There was no other guy anywhere who would propose anytime soon
She liked him!
He was generous, caring, gentle and passionate about the law
She was his exact opposite in temperament
She wanted to own the world, make something great of herself
He wanted to give the world away to those who had been oppressed
She was a rational mind, ambitious and goal oriented
He was a bleeding heart, sentimental and "Take things easy" minded
SHe got a job with an NGO immediately she completed her law school
She got pregnant!
Her Father threw some tantrums
How can this be! Who dare impregnate his daughter?
She wondered why her father was accusing her husband to be of impregnating her
Was she a dummy?
Was she not the one he ought to be harrassing?
Whenever her father started his "It is improper" speech
She would watch and send her guy a message of "Dont mind him, just say sorry"
She had forged a reputation at home that her parents and siblings had come to respect
She had mind of her own and she was already financially independent
All the righteous indignation of her father was a "show"
She was practically the financial backbone of the house before she graduated
There was something about her and money
Even while she slept, money flies to her
What many people would do and get a well done
Whenever she did such, she was always financially rewarded
She couldn't explain it but sometimes a client would tip her as much as ten times her salary
Her husband to be meanwhile was still searching for a job at the time
Her Father also had issues with that
How would you marry a jobless man?
How would you marry a man who was not financially okay?
SHe never told her father how much she was worth at the time
But she could afford to feed, clothe and sponsor the education of six
people to a private university conveniently as at that time
She registered her own company and opened her own firm
Three months later, she got married!
It was a glorious wedding
Her husband's father had died
His mother came with his uncles and other family members
Her father wasn't happy that his family members were few
His father felt it was disrespectful for the entire village not to turn up for a wedding
She didnt care either way
Her husband was perturbed by her father's disposition
She told him to shrug it off
She was entertaining her father's feelings out of sentiment
He should endeavour to do the same
A month after they got married, her husband got a job as at a law firm
His take home pay per month was #120,000
It wasn't much but he was able to go somewhere everyday
And the feeling of being dependent on her lessened
When it was time to deliver her first child
She decided she would deliver the child in the USA
Her husband screamed!
He couldn't afford such an expensive venture
He wanted to be a part of the birth experience
She overruled him!
She had the money and she wanted to give their children the best!
She went to the USA and delivered the baby
While in the USA she met a potential client and they fixed a meeting for six weeks after the delivery
Once she had delivered the baby, she returned home
Nursed the baby for six weeks and jumped on a plane back to the USA
She wanted to drop the baby with her mother to nurse
But her husband was totally against the idea
Her husband was also against the idea of her travelling for the deal
To him something as sentimental as a baby should keep her from making the deal of a lifetime
It was not in her DNA to be poor
The baby needed the money
She needed the money
Nobody can survive on the paltry sum her husband was earning
Her husband couldn't believe that his word was not law
Her father's word was not law to her
How could her husband expect his word to be law
She had the money to do anything she desired
How would a poor man's word be law?
She set out to the USA and returned after two weeks!
It was a bit testy when she returned
Her husband's ego had been crushed
She told him about the deal and how successful it was
She also told him that the client promised to fly her and her family to europe for a week
The client had a chain of hotels and kept his promise
They travelled to Europe a month later
Her husband forgave her and the marriage continued
But she continued to prosper in spite of herself
The deal brought her many international clients and she seemed unable to put a foot wrong
She bought cars and they moved to a bigger apartment
She catered to the need of the house and the school fees of the children
All she left her husband to do was pay the rent
The rent was about #600,000 a year and once her husband paid it, he barely had enough money left
She got pregnant thirteen months later
She travelled to the USA to deliver her second baby
When she was to return home
She told her husband she was taking the chld straight to her parents house
Her husband got angry
"How can you do this? I will not see my own child before your parent would?"
She didn't know who he thought he was
A baby is a baby and it doesn't matter when you saw the baby
What mattered was that the baby was yours and bears your name
What stupid sentiment was that?
She went straight to her parent's house as she said
Her husband didn't take it well at all
Her husband called her elder sister and reported her
He said she had no regard for him
She was shocked!
What regard? A man whom she could easily employ as one of her staff?
Some of her staff members earn better pay that he did
He enjoys the benefits of her wealth as her husband
He lived in a luxurious estate
He lived in a well furnished apartment
He ate whatever he wanted
He drove great cars, her cars!
She had been a blessing to him
The marriage had been of great benefit to him
She had earned the right to do whatever she wanted
She shouldn't have to be sentimental about anything
Of what value was he to her?
He donated sperm and his name!
He didn't pay the school fees of the children
He didn't pay for their clothing and upkeep
He didn't pay for anything she wore
He cannot afford any of these things
And he dare breathe thunder and fire?
She bought a house While she was still in her parent's house
renovated the place and told her husband about it
He was very happy for her
He even simmered down and began to speak softly to her
She went to see her husband's mother and told said
"I have bought a house and I will be moving in but
I dont want to move into my house with your son"
She went to her parent's house and announced the same thing to them
Her husband was a born again christian who believes in the sentiment of "No Divorce"
She had no scruples!
She had everything she needed to live a great life
If he decided to sue for custody of the children,
she would battle him hard for her children
They would part amicably and decide on visiting rights
She doesn't want to be married again!
He can still get married and father other children!
As far as she was concerned, her goal was "two children and freedom"
She had attained both and it was time to move on
Her husband didn't know what hit him
She didn't leave any room for sentimental stuff
Practically, her husband had become a liability
In business as in life, liabilities had to go!
PS: Sometimes you hear some stories and you are numb for days
Sometimes you watch such a story unravel
Whatever the case!
This case took the voice from hope
Event is still unfolding in Lagos, Nigeria!