Changing lanes

She approached the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt
after service on a Sunday
"Pastor, she said, There is fire on the mountain"
She was one of those he deliberately
paid attention to in church
This was because of her circumstances
Her husband abandoned her with two children
He was supposed to travel to Europe,
settle down and send for her and the children
That was the plan!
They raised the money for his journey,
fasted and prayed for his wellbeing
Committed him into the hands of God
He travelled on a Wednesday night!
She had barely gotten home when she got
his email
it had been written several weeks before
and sent just as his flight was about to
take off or thereabouts
In the email, he thanked her for her love,
endurance and support
Then he told her the marriage was over'
He had met a Senegalese lady who lived
in France on social media and they
had been in a relationship for some time
The lady had travelled down to the country
to see him and they had fallen in love
He was going to France to be with the lady
and marry her
He was sorry things had to end that way
but he felt stringing her along while he
had moved on would be wickedness!
He promised to send her money for the
upkeep of the children once he had settled
down and stabilized
He included a notice of divorce which
he had filed in Ibadan and which had been
granted by the magistrate in her absence!
He apologised for hurting her (If he did)
but he had fallen out of love with her and was
tired of enduring a loveless marriage!
She fainted after reading it
It was not only a sucker punch, but it was 
also a killer blow!
She had wanted him to travel so desperately
She hoped the distance would do their marriage
some good and restore the longings of yesteryears!
She didn't know how it happened but they
grew apart over the years
Their marriage was just five years old
The happiest they had ever been was the months
before they got married
Since the day they got married, it had been
one issue or the other
It was as if the marital vow was made in
exchange for the love and joy
She wanted him to be a type of husband
He wanted to be another type of husband
He kept complaining that she was trying to
change him
"I am not your Father, I am me, let me be me"
It wasn't as if he didn't have his own faults
He could have been more matured, spoken more
kindly to her and acted more in charge!
He acted as if he didn't want to own anybody
"Be free and let me be free"
What sort of marriage was that?
A marriage where each partner was free of each other!
She felt he was being loose in order to cheat
She decided he had to understand the responsibility
of being a married man
She felt he was too lackadaisical in his approach
acting as if it was "Boyfriend & Girlfriend Part 2"
He responded by running away from the house
He would leave very early in the morning
and return very late at night
He would say "I am not a donkey, I am not a beast of burden
why are you acting as if marriage is supposed to
be a burden? You are wearing me out!"
Men are very slippery creatures, as a wife,'
she needed him to take her serious and act seriously
it wasn't enough that he paid the bills
He must stop dressing like a single man
it would be giving single ladies the wrong ideas
All the designer jeans and T-shirt fashionista
attitude was scary
She just didn't know how to handle it
The more she pushed the farther he ran
Until he became a shadow at home and kept all of
his happiness outside their marriage!
She knew he was cheating on her
She knew when the Senegalese lady came to the country
he told her she was representing a French firm
interested in his farming projects
But she knew he was too happy for it to be just business
No woman had the right to make a
man so happy apart from his wife
She sought help from experienced couples
They told it would pass
"Once you cross the five-year mark! 
You have passed the
most treacherous season of every marriage! 
It gets better from that point onwards"
She trusted to hope!
She counted the days
She bought Jeans and T-shirts
She asked him to take her along to his hangouts
But it was a disaster
She was suspicious of everything and unable to
enjoy herself the way the others were doing
She was a wife and the company seemed for fitting
for a girlfriend!
She didn't make a fight of it
She just stopped hanging out with him and his friends
She couldn't be his girlfriend in that sense anymore
She had too much on her plate than eating pepper soup
and laughing over lurid jokes in the name of
having a good time
But she didn't see the callous divorce coming
It really hit her badly!
Her elder sister and some friends came to stay with
her at the hospital she was rushed to
She cried for many days
How would she cope without her husband?
She had two children to raise and they were quite a handful!
A local church heard about her case and stepped in
The welfare team took turns babysitting her children
whenever she worked late
She was integrated into the church community
She started healing
The pastor of the Church loved the Lord
The members showed her the love of Christ
She resolved in her heart never to marry again
She was just Thirty-three years old at the time
She needed to focus on her career and raising her children
But then about two years after her divorce
She met this man at a wedding ceremony she attended
She was seated alone on the six-man table at the
wedding reception
The man politely asked if he could join her
She said yes
They started talking
Unlike many guys, he didn't talk about himself
He paid attention to the guests at the wedding reception
and commented on their dressing, clothing, body language
It was like a game of sort
Looking out for the happy couple, the contented couple
the grouchy couple, unmarried couple and side chicks!
He made her laugh terribly
They exchanged phone numbers
He called her that evening and then the next day
She returned his call after a week
He asked her to meet with him somewhere
She went! She had to! She was developing serious
feelings for him
She had a healthy sexual appetite which she thought
she could lock down with determination
She discovered locking her legs was tougher than it seemed
But she had been able to do so for so long because
her sexual urge had not smelled the aroma of a mate
This guy wanted her, she knew it, she wanted him too
Nothing complicated
Just to fill that gulf for the moment
They ate a light meal and talked
And then he politely asked her if he should get a room
She surprised herself by saying yes!
And that was the beginning of the dilemma
They met often in hotels and other establishments
He said little about himself beyond work and his children
She said little about herself beyond work and her children
They had been at it for almost a year
when the man's wife came to see her at her office
His wife was a beautiful woman
She claimed she wanted to meet with her on business
She sat down opposite her and said "You are sleeping with
my husband, I have no problem with that! You are not
the first and you will not be the last!
But I know you are a single mother of two children
and I have decided to go to war with you
Just to teach the two of you a lesson!
Within the next 33 days, you shall bury your children
and be roaming the street stark naked!
The woman took out a black egg from her bag,
smashed it on her table and walked out with
a smile on her face!
she literarily urinated on herself with fear
The following day was a Saturday, she was supposed to
be with him but he sent her a text message that he was stooling!
She stayed at home, mulling the words of the woman when
one of her sons suddenly took ill
She nursed the fever for some time before rushing the
child to a hospital
She became scared that the woman's words were coming to pass
She ran to church the following morning
She stated her case
She wanted the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt to lead a
prayer team
She wanted to fight fire with fire!
But the Holy Spirit said NO!
"I will preserve her and her children
They are under my covenant but I am a just God
She must do the right thing!"
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt drove her to
the man's house
They met him and his wife at home
The man was very sick!
They begged the woman and promised her that
the affair was over!
After a long time, the woman agreed and forgave them!
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt prayed for
the man and he was healed!
They left afterwards!
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt was happy a disaster was
averted! He didn't see any reason to wage war when there
was an option of peace! She, on the other hand,
was not very pleased with the approach
When they got to the church, she turned to the brother
in Jeans and T-shirt and said "I will not lie to you, sir,
I like him and I will still sleep with him if
he wants "us" to continue!
I have not threatened his marriage in any way
We were just having sex!
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt said "You cannot
do that, we just made that woman a promise"
"So what should I do when I have a sexual urge?
hug a tree? Masturbate? Go and buy a dildo?
I am thirty-five years old!
You people in the church said I cannot remarry!
So do you think I will remain like this?
I don't want to sleep around and I am comfortable
with him
If he would have me, I will continue to sleep with him!"
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt Shrugged!
There are limits you can go in counselling
There are boundaries you cannot cross in the name
of intervention
As she turned to leave, the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt said
"Wait on the Holy Spirit and pray, If he sends a husband
to you like Boaz to Ruth, I will gladly support the union.
I think you are better off being married than being
in messes like this"
It took all of eight months!
She met a man who was six months older than her
He had never been married
He was a contract staff with an oil servicing firm
He was a Born Again Christian
He said He had prayed and God said she was the one
She was equally convinced he was the one
They got married at the registry
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt blessed the Union

PS: The church cannot continue to close its eyes
to the realities all around us!
Our Sunday school manuals and church programmes
does not provide for the single parents and their
families!
We insist the Law must keep marriages while
we pride ourselves as products of divine grace
The dead cannot give life to the living!
God is not the God of the dead but the God of the living
The Law is dead!
Jesus died for everybody
The church must cater to everybody's needs with love
We cannot collect the tithe of a divorcee
and then deny the divorcee the same privilege
a married person has!
Salvation is not a caste, status or class thing
It is the same salvation for all