Contradicting God?

My first smart deal was done when 
I was 10 
I was a pupil at Army children school 3, 
Iwo road, Ibadan at the time I was a 
model pupil with great academic 
achievements 
My favourite teacher was Mrs Akinwale, 
she taught me in primary 5 and brought 
out the best she could in my writing skills 
I still remember her voice as she taught
us the English language
"Give me speed and accuracy"
That was her song
When I got to primary 6, I had this 
teacher called Mr. Babalola 
He was the mathematics teacher 
I hated mathematics 
Whenever he gave us class work, we 
would submit and he would mark 
If you get back your note and you 
see “see me” on the page where 
you did your class work
It means he will give you four strokes 
of the cane 
I know I will always get a "see me" 
And that means I will always get four 
strokes of his “pankere” every day 
His “see me” and his “pankere” had a 
reputation 
I had prayed I wouldn’t be put in his class 
but God didn’t hear that prayer
I sat in my room and thought hard about it 
How do I escape Mr. Babalola’s cane 
for a whole year? 
I decided I would pay attention in class 
and become a mathematics prodigy 
School resumed 
Day 1, I got a "see me" 
I was given four strokes of the cane 
on my Day 2, I got a "see me" 
Another four strokes 
This went on for a week 
By the following Saturday I realized 
my plan to become a mathematics 
prodigy was a bad one 
It was more reasonable to prepare 
for the flogging 
So I started doubling my school knicker 
and padding my body in anticipation 
of Mr. Babalola's cane
Of course, Mr. Babalola saw through it 
The “See me” I got that Monday came 
with flogging at the back of my legs 
(That thing iwas very painful! 
It was as if he bit me with his 
brown teeth and gave me rabies. 
Oh my, I wish I can see Mr. Babalola 
now) 
The pain made me think of a more 
permanent solution 
One my smartness can purchase for me 
So when I got home that day I wrote a 
letter 
In the letter I stated clearly that I am 
the mother of this pupil and he was 
suffering from sickle cell condition 
I stated that the flogging has landed 
my son in the hospital and he was 
battling for his life 
I wrote it very well I got to school, 
gave the letter to my younger brother 
to deliver for me and went on a truant's 
walk through the mammy market 
throughout that school day 
When we got home that afternoon, my 
younger brother assured me that 
Mr. Babalola turned white after
reading my letter 
When I got to school the next day, 
Mr. Babalola called me and said I 
should have told him I was a sickler 
He told me he wouldn’t write "see me" 
in my class note again 
That was the end of the flogging 
I used the same ploy for many 
teachers when I got to secondary
School too 
I remember one Mr. Ajayi-Obe in 
Olivet Baptist High school 
He was in charge of labour and would 
give us grass to cut every Wednesday 
like Pharoah did for the children of 
Israel 
I went to get a doctors report that 
exempted me from cutting grass and 
other forms of labour
It worked for me too 
My “smartness” became legendary as 
I grew older I was heading for the 
“con artist” reality 
I remember composing a “we are 
going on excursion” letter when 
I was fourteen and signing our school 
principal’s hand 
I gave it to my daddy, a Ph.D holder and 
he paid
He gave me 5000 Naira for the excursion 
to Kainji dam 
I gave the same letter to many of my 
friends and classmates in the boarding 
school 
I was attending at the time and all 
the parents paid up 
I got a cut of the payment from all 
the students 
I was Don Shemuel, Mafia kingpin! 
My friends hailed me for my smartness 
One of them, Shina, introduced me to 
Micky Bricks and his series titled “Hustle" 
He said I was his real life Micky Bricks 
I remember a friend, he will probably
 read this because he started following 
me on Twitter recently 
This dear friend of mine came to 
me to ask how he could open his 
mother’s room and her access to 
her money 
I gave him a solution in two minutes 
The solution worked 
A month later, I heard the news that 
his mother was affected by stroke 
when she discovered that her son 
had cleaned her out. 
Thank God she recovered. 
My friend went to OSU with another 
friend in pursuit of the love of his life 
and spent his mother’s business money 
trying to convince the lady to be his 
girlfriend 
The money finished 
The lady still said no 
His mother would have died for nothing 
Our actions do have consequences! 
I had assumed I was wired that way 
Wired to outsmart people and cheat 
them of their stuff 
I wonder why my instinct and imagination 
always took me in that direction 
How can God blame me for making me 
that way? 
That used to be my argument 
I see the loopholes so easily
I know how to exploit them 
I was like Jacob! 
Then I met the Holy Spirit and I thought 
I would stop automatically but I didn’t 
I still had it I cannot even begin to list 
all the stuff I did even after I had 
become baptized in the Holy Ghost 
I needed to be transformed from within 
but I didn’t know how 
My mother gave me an NIV Bible 
She told me to read it from chapter to 
chapter 
She said the word transforms 
I took her word with a pinch of salt 
I was the type of believer who read 
the Bible with the intention of 
contesting and arguing with it 
Many things in it didn’t make sense 
to me 
I could always show God when I read 
His word that I was smarter than him 
One day I was sleeping in my room 
when I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit 
I started shaking and screaming 
My whole body was vibrating in the 
fetal position i found myself as I laid 
on the floor
The Holy Spirit said “My wisdom lies in 
my word! True wisdom is believing 
my word! 
Just saying yes to my word is wisdom!” 
I felt hot all over I shouted “Yes sir” 
I was in pain! 
I just wanted Him to leave me alone and 
so I agreed with Him without any argument
 That was the day he changed me 
It wasn’t the experience that changed me 
It was the simplicity of that instruction! 
Once I recognize something as the
 word of God, I agree with it 
Foolishly 
Gullibly... 
Especially when it didn’t make sense 
As long as I am sure God said it, 
I will keep saying it! It was that simple 
Many of my old friends are pastors 
and evangelists now 
We still rub minds and share ideas but 
now we do it for the gospel 
I changed in such a manner that an old 
friend came to see me in Lagos, 
we shook hands and his addiction to 
marijuana disappeared instantly! 
The charms he had on his body 
for protection against “evil” also 
expired 
He kept shouting “Olumide, o ti 
di ina o” (Olumide, you have become 
fire or you have become the light) 
The secret of power lies in agreeing 
with the word of God spoken in the 
scripture or through the word of
prophecy 
It didn’t have to make sense 
You don’t have to be emotionally invested 
in the outcome as either right or wrong 
Just say and walk in agreement with 
His word consciously every day 
It is unwise to serve a God whose position 
on a matter is the opposite of your own 
position!
When God told Moses to lead the 
children of Israel through the sea, 
it didn’t make sense but He made a 
way and it made Moses great! 
His greatness lies in his ability not 
to make sense 
Your greatness lies in that ability too 
Just agree in words and in deed 
His word will keep you!

PS: GSW will be in Port Harcourt on                                                                                Friday 13th to Saturday 14th November.                                                                            The Usual meet-up will happen at                                                                             Blooms Spot Hotel, 2 Ibrahim Ngekachi                                                                           off Collyns Owhonda, Eagle Island,                                                                              Port-Harcourt Time:4-8pm