Momentary Lapse?

Momentary Lapse?

She said:


What lady grew up praying to be a single mother?

Isn’t it the norm that ladies dream of being happily married one day?

Do you actually think a girl would pray to be a baby mama?

“Like God, please, I will like to have a baby for so and so because he is rich and popular”

No way!

Married men are a taboo for every lady

We don’t want another woman’s man

We don’t even desire another woman’s man

Women are by nature home nurturers and protectors

Traditionally, women treat husband snatchers and home wreckers with scorn and disdain as a detriment to other women

We don’t want women giving or even considering advances from married men

It is simply not proper!

But then reality is as far away from dreams as the sun is far away from the earth

I have met virgins, not one! Several virgins who were experts at oral sex and/or anal sex

Virgins addicted to pornography

How are those ones virgins?

But they hug their virginity like a price forgetting that the hymen is just a thin layer of disposable skin

I speak of others first so that you will be objective as you tell my story

I know you are a Christian

But I have read all your stories on and I have also downloaded your mobile app

You are objective and fair, please keep true to this standard in my case


So let me tell my story now

Five years ago, I was 29, single, a graduate and a very brilliant mind

I had several suitors

Four of them were disqualified because they were AS and I was also AS

Three others didn’t cut the mark because they were married

I had never had sex but I don’t know if I qualify as a virgin

I had done and watched several things that a virgin (I believe) should in reality not know about

As I approached my 30th birthday I found myself drawn to a guy

He was an absolute genius

He was simply different

But he was also married

And for the first time, I just didn’t care

He was AS, not from my tribe, not from my religion, not rich

He didn’t tick any of my fancy boxes

And yet he completes me!

How did that even make sense?

Every time I tell people about him, especially my friends and family members

They tell me I am a fool, a wicked hearted person and that he had brainwashed me

I agree with them

But I must be honest and say “Maybe I brainwashed myself”

This guy did not lead me on, he did not encourage me in any way!

And yet I lived for the few moments he took the time to pick my calls

I dreamt of him in my bed


I knew he was married!

I knew he didn’t love me

I knew from his tone of voice that he was sometimes irritated by me

And yet…

Somehow my thought process began to change

I started seeing myself as the mother of his children

It was subtle, but it was there

I knew he has his own children and I wished them well

I also respected his wife and wished her well

And yet…

He was worth it

All the names and the insults and the guilty conscience meant nothing

I was in love for the first time in my life

I knew he would be careful

I would never end up accidentally pregnant

He didn’t love me that way

He respected his wife and his home

I did too

He would only be my buffer, while I wait for my husband to find me

I was going crazy with loneliness

He was the straw I have to cling to for survival

His heart would never be broken

And I would walk away whenever I want

NoI will not have his children

Being a single mother or a baby mama was courting disaster

I started thinking about the single mothers I know

How society is so unfair and uncaring towards them

How the churches take their tithe and offerings and yet offer little or no support

How their children usually end up slanted in their view of life

How they struggle to pay rent, school fees, meet both the Daddy and Mummy demands

That was not the future I wanted for myself

That will not be my future

I was sure heaven and earth did not align with the reality I see

And yet…

I stood before the mirror

In the hotel room

Fully conscious of my actions

I took off my clothes while he watched

I was a bit shy but it didn’t matter

He was my joy for that moment

He was fully dressed as he laid on the bed

It was the moment I had dreamt of for months

I knew all he had was two hours

I had to take it

I laid on top of him and kissed him

I didn’t care one bit about all the consequences

I silenced all the voices

I didn’t do it for money or fame or popularity

I did it for myself, my heart, my sanity

I surrendered my virginity!


His story


I took it gratefully

What was I to do?

I had tried to dissuade her several times

She wouldn’t budge

I cut off all ties

She persisted

What did she want?

But she was beautiful and inspiring

He found being hunted by her a thrill

And yet he didn’t feel anything for her

Just excited at the prospect of a fresh unsullied body in his arms

And he asked her over and over again

“What are you doing?”

Of course the world would condemn him for being so undisciplined

He was married!

He had so much to lose

He was playing with fire

He was shaking the table!

He took precautions but it was unnecessary

The girl wanted a good healthy future far away from him

All she wanted with him was that moment!

Who was he to say no?

Why should he say no!

So they took that moment

Robbing his wife and her future husband

But nobody knew it but them


Her Question:

Do you think I should feel sorry? Did I do anything wrong? We didn’t tell either of our spouses about our three years affair. We were very discrete. Sometimes we had sex four times a year. At other times, we just met somewhere and talked.

Are we supposed to do any form of restitution? Everything worked out fine for everybody in the end and as far as I can tell, neither of us cheated either with each other or with someone else since I got married!



PS: The affair went on for three years

She eventually met a man and got married

She relocated to the USA with her husband and they had two sons

He remained happily married to his wife, they have four children

Both of them remained friends