What lady grew up praying to be a single mother?
Isn’t it the norm that ladies dream of being happily married one day?
Do you actually think a girl would pray to be a baby mama?
“Like God, please, I will like to have a baby for so and so because he is rich and popular”
Married men are a taboo for every lady
We don’t want another woman’s man
We don’t even desire another woman’s man
Women are by nature home nurturers and protectors
Traditionally, women treat husband snatchers and home wreckers with scorn and disdain as a detriment to other women
We don’t want women giving or even considering advances from married men
It is simply not proper!
But then reality is as far away from dreams as the sun is far away from the earth
I have met virgins, not one! Several virgins who were experts at oral sex and/or anal sex
Virgins addicted to pornography
How are those ones virgins?
But they hug their virginity like a price forgetting that the hymen is just a thin layer of disposable skin
I speak of others first so that you will be objective as you tell my story
I know you are a Christian
But I have read all your stories on www.gbengawemimo.com and I have also downloaded your mobile app
You are objective and fair, please keep true to this standard in my case
So let me tell my story now
Five years ago, I was 29, single, a graduate and a very brilliant mind
I had several suitors
Four of them were disqualified because they were AS and I was also AS
Three others didn’t cut the mark because they were married
I had never had sex but I don’t know if I qualify as a virgin
I had done and watched several things that a virgin (I believe) should in reality not know about
As I approached my 30th birthday I found myself drawn to a guy
He was an absolute genius
He was simply different
But he was also married
And for the first time, I just didn’t care
He was AS, not from my tribe, not from my religion, not rich
He didn’t tick any of my fancy boxes
And yet he completes me!
How did that even make sense?
Every time I tell people about him, especially my friends and family members
They tell me I am a fool, a wicked hearted person and that he had brainwashed me
I agree with them
But I must be honest and say “Maybe I brainwashed myself”
This guy did not lead me on, he did not encourage me in any way!
And yet I lived for the few moments he took the time to pick my calls
I dreamt of him in my bed
I knew he was married!
I knew he didn’t love me
I knew from his tone of voice that he was sometimes irritated by me
Somehow my thought process began to change
I started seeing myself as the mother of his children
It was subtle, but it was there
I knew he has his own children and I wished them well
I also respected his wife and wished her well
He was worth it
All the names and the insults and the guilty conscience meant nothing
I was in love for the first time in my life
I knew he would be careful
I would never end up accidentally pregnant
He didn’t love me that way
He respected his wife and his home
I did too
He would only be my buffer, while I wait for my husband to find me
I was going crazy with loneliness
He was the straw I have to cling to for survival
His heart would never be broken
And I would walk away whenever I want
NoI will not have his children
Being a single mother or a baby mama was courting disaster
I started thinking about the single mothers I know
How society is so unfair and uncaring towards them
How the churches take their tithe and offerings and yet offer little or no support
How their children usually end up slanted in their view of life
How they struggle to pay rent, school fees, meet both the Daddy and Mummy demands
That was not the future I wanted for myself
That will not be my future
I was sure heaven and earth did not align with the reality I see
I stood before the mirror
In the hotel room
Fully conscious of my actions
I took off my clothes while he watched
I was a bit shy but it didn’t matter
He was my joy for that moment
He was fully dressed as he laid on the bed
It was the moment I had dreamt of for months
I knew all he had was two hours
I had to take it
I laid on top of him and kissed him
I didn’t care one bit about all the consequences
I silenced all the voices
I didn’t do it for money or fame or popularity
I did it for myself, my heart, my sanity
I surrendered my virginity!
I took it gratefully
What was I to do?
I had tried to dissuade her several times
She wouldn’t budge
I cut off all ties
What did she want?
But she was beautiful and inspiring
He found being hunted by her a thrill
And yet he didn’t feel anything for her
Just excited at the prospect of a fresh unsullied body in his arms
And he asked her over and over again
“What are you doing?”
Of course the world would condemn him for being so undisciplined
He was married!
He had so much to lose
He was playing with fire
He was shaking the table!
He took precautions but it was unnecessary
The girl wanted a good healthy future far away from him
All she wanted with him was that moment!
Who was he to say no?
Why should he say no!
So they took that moment
Robbing his wife and her future husband
But nobody knew it but them
Do you think I should feel sorry? Did I do anything wrong? We didn’t tell either of our spouses about our three years affair. We were very discrete. Sometimes we had sex four times a year. At other times, we just met somewhere and talked.
Are we supposed to do any form of restitution? Everything worked out fine for everybody in the end and as far as I can tell, neither of us cheated either with each other or with someone else since I got married!
PS: The affair went on for three years
She eventually met a man and got married
She relocated to the USA with her husband and they had two sons
He remained happily married to his wife, they have four children
Both of them remained friends