Double Standard

Double Standard

Judah had a daughter in-law, Tamar. 
Her husband, Judah’s son had died, 
so she was a widow. 
Judah’s wife died a while later. 
He went to Timmath with a friend. 
When Tamar heard where her father in-law 
was, she changed her clothes, wore a 
veil and went to the same place. 
Judah saw her and thought she was 
a prostitute. 
He bargained with her and she agreed 
to sleep with him for a fee: a young goat. 
He gave her a pledge of his staff, bracelet 
and signet ring pending when he would 
redeem the goat.
She disappeared after they slept together. 
When he sent the goat, she was nowhere 
to be found. 
Three months later, Judah was told Tamar 
was pregnant! 
He was angry! 
He passed a judgment: “Bring her out, let 
her be burned!” 
He wanted her roasted alive! 
That was the punishment Judah felt 
was fitting for the crime.
Tamar was brought out as Judah asked. 
But before she was set on fire, she 
brought out the staff, signet ring 
and bracelet: “I was impregnated by 
the owner of these stuff!” 
Judah recognized them. 
He realized she was the woman he slept 
with a few months ago. 
He changed the judgment.
But imagine if it was another man 
responsible for the pregnancy? 
(Genesis Chapter 38)
Double standards…

Prophet Nathan came to see King David. 
He told the King a story: there were two 
men living in a city: one rich, the other 
The rich had lots of cattle and livestock, 
the poor had just one lamb who he 
treated like a child. 
Now, the rich man had a visitor and to 
entertain him, he decided to take the 
lamb of the poor man (rather than take 
one from his own livestock) to feed his 
When David heard this story, he was angry! 
He said, “Whoever did this MUST DIE! 
He must restore that lamb four times 
because he has no pity!”
That was the judgment David felt was 
commensurate to the crime committed.
Nathan then said: “YOU ARE THE MAN!”
Now, should we carry out the 
judgment passed? 
David said, “I have sinned!” 
He went on to write Psalm 51, asking 
for God’s mercy. 
But imagine if it were another man? 
David would have carried out his 
judgment of death. But he expected 
God to have mercy on him! 
(2nd Samuel Chapter 12)
Double Standards…

Jesus told us a story of a man who 
owed his boss. 
He pleaded for mercy because he 
could not pay it. 
The boss pitied him and wrote off 
the debt.
Same man also had someone owing 
him a fraction of what he owed the 
boss who also pleaded for mercy. 
He refused and got him arrested and 
He owed and begged for mercy. 
But he was unwilling to show mercy 
to his own debtors.
(Matthew Chapter 18: 23-35)

Humans naturally have two standards: 
one for others and one for themselves. 
These three scenarios show that. 
Self preservation makes us judge 
ourselves differently from others. 
We judge others by their actions but 
judge ourselves by our motives and 
We cut ourselves some slack but are 
not willing to cut for others.

I watched an interesting video a 
while back. 
Jane Elliot (a white woman) was in an 
auditorium filled with white folks. 
She asked, “How many of you white 
folks will want to be treated the way 
our society treat black people? 
Stand up.”
Nobody stood up.
She said, “Maybe you don’t understand me. 
If you white folks won’t mind being 
treated the way black people are generally 
treated in our society, stand up.”
Nobody stood up.
She concluded by saying: “That says 
very plainly you KNOW what is happening. 
You KNOW you don’t want it for YOU. 
I wanna know why you’re so willing to 
accept it and to allow it to happen for 

I also listened to a radio program where 
the host asked, “What is your take on 
beauty pageants?” 
People called in, saying they have 
nothing against them. 
Then the host would ask, “Would 
you allow YOUR daughter partake 
in one?” Ironically, all those who had 
nothing against Beauty Pageants 
said NO! 
The host concluded, “I guess Beauty 
Pageants are ok- as long as it’s 
someone else’s daughter partaking in it!” 

Our Christianity and Humanity MUST 
go beyond this. 
We have to learn to view life through 
unbiased eyes.
We have to be deliberate and intentional 
about it. 
If it is not good for you, it cannot be good 
for anyone else.
God loves us all EQUALLY. 
He is not closer to anyone more than 
the other. 
We all have equal access to Him, equal 
opportunities, equal standing. 
The difference is, some folks maximise and 
utilise their access more than others. 
But He does not discriminate on gender, 
race, tribe or citizenship.
We have to rise up to see people the way 
God sees us all. 
It is very unfortunate when parents 
(who are Christian) refuse their children 
marry someone because of differences 
in tribe or race. 
It is disheartening when people are 
refused employment, tenancy or services, 
when people are stereotyped based on 
these factors they have no control over. 
I did not choose to be a man, I did not 
choose to be black, I did not choose 
to be a Northern Nigerian: 
Why should anyone hold these against me?
God does not do that, why should you? 
If you were at the receiving end of such 
discrimination, how would you feel?
We CAN do better!

Haruna Daniels.