Job Chronicles (Final Part)
I spoke to my former principal again
and she connected me with some
private schools but they all told me
they did not offer scholarships to
As luck would have it, a member of
my fellowship told me he was a
marketer at Caleb and Caleb was
conducting entrance exams for JS1,
Js2, and SS1 students., and would
offer merit scholarships to the top
3 students in the exam in all 3 classes.
However, the entrance forms cost
N10000 each, and I couldn’t afford it.
But the following week, he told me
he could give me a sizeable number
of the forms for free.
I took the forms and distributed them
at two other public schools and
Ikosi high school (HIS) and told them
the top 3 students in the exam would
get scholarships to the school.
I asked the principal of IHS to give
me the names of the top 20 or 25
students in the junior WAEC so I
could teach them in preparation
for the entrance exam at Caleb.
The principal contacted the students
who were excited at the prospect of
attending a much better school,
The school was on their long holiday
and I taught the students both math
and English from about 9 am to 3 or
4 pm every weekday for 3-4 weeks
until the eve of the exam.
On the day of the exam, I was present
at Caleb with the students and I felt
like a very proud mother at the thought
that up to 3 of the students I taught
could get a much better education
and exposure if they won the scholarship.
It had been a while since I had that
feeling of being proud of one’s
While the students were writing the exam,
the principal was addressing their parents
and guardians including me and someone
asked about the scholarship given to the
top 3 students in the exam.
The principal gave a very dodgy answer
and that was my first inkling that
something was wrong.
I asked if the names and grades of
the students would be publicly released
so everyone could see the top 3 students
who qualified for the scholarship and
again her response was funny.
Anyway, a few weeks later, all my
students were offered admission but
there was no talk of scholarships.
I asked my fellowship member about it
and he said scholarships were not
awarded to anyone and he was sorry
about misleading me. I felt very bad
because the students were at peace
with their lives until I offered them
hope for a better education only for
that hope to be dashed.
I felt really ashamed and unable to
face the students and answer their
questions about the scholarship
so I just never contacted them
again and decided to drop my plans
of getting scholarships for indigent,
public school students to private
Imagine my surprise and regret a
few months ago when I saw the
founder of the slum 2 school organization
talk about how he got scholarships
for 3 makoko students into a very
good private school at Abuja.
I actually cried tears of regret because
someone was successfully executing
an idea I had 8 years ago but gave up
on just because things didn’t work out
as I expected.
In retrospect, I should have done my
due diligence properly to ensure that
Caleb was actually going to offer
scholarships before making them invest
time, effort, and money all for nothing.
My next job was my on-campus job at
UMD and there was only one memorable
thing that happened.
One of my work colleagues and classmates
never used deodorant cuz it was against
his religion and he smelled bad.
My friends and I at work complained
about it amongst ourselves but never to
him or the supervisor.
And then one day, one of my colleagues
decided she was going to tell the
supervisor about it.
I didn’t believe her but she actually
went ahead to complain to the supervisor
that his unpleasant smell was creating
an unpleasant work environment for her
and other colleagues.
And you guys, the supervisor called the
guy aside during work hours when we
were all present and took him to the front
of the office where we could all see her
discussing the issue with him.
I felt bad for the guy because I’m sure
he was wondering who amongst us
was the judas who betrayed him to
The admonition worked though because
he started to wear fragrance and stopped
My next job was my internship role but
nothing remarkable happened there.
This was followed by my job at Arista
but that’s an entire series on its own
so I’ll just skip to my first job after I
returned to Nigeria.
I have mentioned a few times here
that I was severely depressed and that
was the major reason I returned to Nigeria.
In July 2018, my uncle helped me get
a contract position at a bank as a
software test engineer through his friend.
I was still depressed at the time but
I could function properly a little bit.
My parents got me a driver who drove
me to work and back.
But most days, it was a struggle to
My mum usually had to wake me up
3 -5 days every day before I was able
to get up from the bed and I went to
work a few times without bathing
because I was late for work.
My supervisor at work was pretty cool.
We got along well and found out we
attended the same church.
On a few occasions at work, I would
feel so tired and fatigued and would
go sleep in the toilet for 1 or 2 hours.
And then on a Thursday morning, only
a month after resuming, I decided I
wasn’t going to work.
My supervisor was on leave at the time.
I knew my decision to skip work would
have dire consequences but I just
couldn’t be bothered.
I did not send an email or call or text anyone
about this decision to skip work when
I could have easily just called in sick.
It was just one of those days.
Meanwhile, my uncle had connected
me with the CISO of the bank and I was
scheduled for an interview for a full-time
software tester role at the same bank
for the following day, Friday.
I showed up at work on Friday morning,
dropped my bag on my desk, and
attended the interview thinking we
would be done on time but the
interviews did not end until about
4.00 pm. I returned to work and
was told another contract tester
had been looking for me.
I just knew it my heart that I was
going to get fired.
I Went up to meet with her and just
as I feared, she told me my contract
was terminated because a man,
who was also on the full-time job
interview panel had complained to
the guy who hired me on contract.
I went to meet the man and begged
him to let me stay on even if I wasn’t
paid cuz I wasn’t well and needed to
get busy but he assured me that I
would be given the full-time role.
I told my mum about being fired and
she came to my office to speak with
the man reiterating my point about
not being well and pleading with him
to give me a second chance but the
man kept assuring her that I would
be hired for the full-time job.
You asked me to be fired from the
contract role but you expect me to
believe you would recommend me
to be hired for the full-time role.
When I’m not stupid.
Anyway, I am still waiting for them to
call me and hire me for the full -time job.
This happened at the end of July 2018
and for the next 5 months, I Was jobless.
I used to go with my mum to her office
during the week and mostly just read
and tried to learn new things.
By December 2018, about 5 months later,
I was well and my depression was
completely gone and I have been fine
Somebody should hallelujah!
By January 2019, another uncle helped
me get an interview with a friend of his
who owned an IT company (See why I
said my mum’s siblings are amazing).
I attended the interview during which
the man told me he could see from my
resume that I schooled and lived in the
US for a little while and how he also
schooled and lived in the US for over
20 years and was, In fact, a US citizen!
In my mind, I was like “wuzz my own
He told me the role was going to be an
internship and I would be paid N75,000!
Ahmean, I didn’t even earn N75,000
during my first post-NYSC job and here
I Was being offered that small money
after masters and silicon valley work
experience but my uncle told me to
accept the offer because being busy
was good for my mental well-being and
I shouldn’t consider the money.
Thankfully, I had other sources of income.
I resumed at work, and on the first day
during orientation, I was informed that I
would be put on a roaster alongside the
other staff, except the supervisor, to
wash the boss’s plate.
I was flabbergasted, to say the least.
Plate that I didn’t even wash during IT
and NYSC I would now be washing at
I wanted to offer to get a cleaner for
N10,000 out of my N75k pay to be
washing the plate cuz it was demeaning
but I knew he would flare up and call
me proud so I didn’t say anything.
When it was my week to wash the plates,
I used to console myself with this
statement whenever I was washing the
plates “well, Joseph too was
washing plate in Potiphar's house and
inside prison so who am I that I can’t
wash plate? And he wasn’t even to
blame for his own predicament while I
was fully responsible for my situation”.
That was when I truly understood the
bible verse that says “David encouraged
himself in the Lord” because saying
those things to myself helped me laugh
about the washing plates and gave me
But I was too embarrassed to tell anyone
else about it.
I never told my parents, siblings, or
friends cuz it was just too humiliating.
It was only late last year I shared this
with some friends and gisted another
friend about it who told me I need to
create a blog to share my stories cuz
it was hilarious!
And it was even this washing plate
experience that made me start this
#toyeensjobchronicles series sef.
In the time that I was there, I had 5
run-ins with the boss and I would just
run through them quickly.
In the first one, I was shown how to
open the office using the access-code
security system but I wasn’t shown
how to lock it.
And one day, I was the last person
at the office, and I ended up spoiling
the door while trying to lock it.
This happened just a day or 2 after
I resumed oh. Anyway, I told the
supervisor I had accidentally spoilt
The boss, whom we called YA as
requested by him, came into the office
and started shouting who the
F* spoilt the door? (he was always
using the F word).
I told him it was me, oh and it was
an accident for which I was very sorry.
He shouted on me some more and
stormed to his office.
The next issue had to do with drinking
Back when I was at arista if you saw
coffee in the coffee maker in the kitchen,
you drank it and when the coffee pot
was empty, whoever wanted to drink
next would make another batch of
I was shown how to make coffee with
the coffee maker after I joined and I
just assumed I could drink coffee I
found in the coffee pot just like Arista.
How wrong I was!
That's how as I was drinking the coffee,
YA came out of the kitchenette and
started screaming “who the F drank
my coffee”? I confessed that it was me
and I wrongly assumed that I could
drink it and I was sorry.
He kept shouting that how could he
be making for me to drink and I just
kept on looking like zombie.
You guys would not believe that the
following day, he said to me “Toyeen
I’ve made coffee and you can have
some if you want”.
I was shocked, I can’t even lie.
The third issue happened when someone
came to see him and I let him into the
office cuz I was the only one in the office.
I asked for his name and he told me
-let’s just call him goat.
I went to YA and told him goat was
looking for him and he asked me to usher
goat to his office.
After goat left, YA called me into the office
and started shouting on me that how
could I call the man goat and how I
was supposed to call him Mr. goat.
Again, I apologized as per standard
procedure and said I wouldn’t do it again.
In the fourth drama, he called me from
his office and I answered “yes” and went
into his office.
YA started shouting again that how can
I be responding with Yes and how I was
supposed to say yes sir!
Ahmean you would expect that you could
respond with yes to someone who asked
you to call him only by his initials abi?
Our office was split into 3 rooms – his
private office, a conference room, a large
room where the rest of the staff stayed
and the kitchenette.
He came out of his office, sat in the same
room with us, and called me to his desk.
I went and stood in front of me and he
asked me how old I was in the presence
of all the other staff.
As I wasn’t ashamed of my age, I told
him I was 32 years old and he started
shouting again that he was turning 60
that year and old enough to be my
father yet I was responding to his
call with “yes” and how I was very rude.
Again, I apologized and said I did it in error.
I thought that somebody who lived in
the US for over 20 years and was even a
US citizen would be very informal and
lax with respect as they are in the US
but I guess his Yoruba blood trumped
his American blood.
Anyway, the 5th clash was the straw
that broke the camel’s back.
Two vendors came to pitch their product
to us and YA asked all the staff including
me to attend the presentation in the
conference room and said he would
join us shortly.
After about 5 or 10 mins, the vendors
wanted to start and said YA could join
us later, and the supervisor agreed.
I reminded them about YA’s decision
to join us later and went back to my
desk to pick up my phone.
I saw YA sitting at his desk and asked
him if we could go ahead and start
without him and he exploded like
He began screaming about how I
am too forward and how could I start
when I don’t even know what the
presentation is about and how I
wasn’t the one who brought them
and on and on he went to the hearing
of the other staff and the vendors.
But this time around, I did not apologize
as I had had it up to my throat.
I went back to the conference room
and sulked throughout.
After the vendors left, he came to
my desk and said “Toyeen why are
you always doing stupid things”.
I couldn’t take it anymore and I
retorted sharply that it wasn’t my fault
I was only asking on behalf of the
vendors and the supervisor who
wanted to start and was only confirming
from him if it was ok to start or not.
He now calmed down and said ehn next
time I should have confirmed first
before “being” but I didn’t even respond.
That day, I felt really bad and cried even.
Something I've never done before at work.
I spoke to one of my friends about it.
At the end of that month, I received an
alert of my N75,000 salary and paid my
tithe and gave my parents their share.
While making the transactions, a mail
came in from YA and the gist of the
email was that I was fired.
Haa! Fired bawo? What did I do?
Fired twice in less than a year.
By this time, he was leaving the office
and I wasn’t able to speak with him.
At COB, the supervisor walked to my
desk and asked me to submit my
laptop, and every other thing I was given.
I asked if he knew why I was fired but
he did not know and since YA is
temperamental, he couldn’t ask and
risk being scolded.
HE was as surprised as I was when
YA asked him to dispossess me of all
my laptop and other office materials.
I came in the following day, Friday,
hoping to find out what exactly I did
that got me fired but he wasn’t in. I
told my uncle who helped me get
the job and he offered to speak with
him when they met that Sunday.
I couldn’t tell my parents I had been
fired again so throughout the following
week I continued leaving the house
for work in the morning and would sit at
the canteen in my office building until
4 pm and go back home.
One day, a woman at the canteen came
to meet me while I was sleeping asking
if I was ok because her brother, the
owner of the canteen, was concerned
about me staying the whole day at the
canteen and sent her to speak to me
as per fellow woman.
I informed her that I was fine and was
recently fired but couldn’t muster the
courage to tell my parents so I kept
leaving the house every day like I
was still employed.
My uncle called me saying he spoke
with YA and YA complained that I
was very rude and blah blah blah.
My uncle explained to him that I was
depressed and needed a job to keep busy.
YA responded with “ehn ehn! I knew
there was something wrong with her”.
Anyway, I had to stop pretending to
go to work and told my parents that
I was fired again and just as I expected,
there weren’t happy about it.
I was let go on the last day of February 2018.
The church i attend has a discipleship
program that ran from 100 to 400 level.
I took the 400 level program the
previous year but did not graduate
because I didn’t do a number of my
assignments and did not meet the
requirement for graduation so I began
retaking the class in January or
On the last Saturday of March, in the
morning on my way to my 400 level
class I just prayed to God casually
that I wanted him to give me a job
in April which was only 2 days away.
I did not think too much of the prayer
and went for my class.
At the end of my class, I saw my
first DJL boss who was the program
coordinator and had being for years
but I never spoke to him throughout
the previous year when I took the
class and when I was retaking it.
But that day, I kept arguing with
myself whether to say hi or not and
decided to say hi. He was surprised
to see me and still assumed I was
in the US. He asked what I was doing a
nd I said I wasn’t working.
“I didn’t ask if you were working or not,
I asked what you were doing he said”.
I told him I was taking some oracle
certifications (YA offered to leave the
portal open for me to keep taking the
certification exams since he wouldn’t
let me return to work for him).
My former boss asked me what type
of job I was interested in and I told
him a software engineering role since
that was my most recent experience.
He mulled over this for a while and
said he had a business process
consulting job similar to what I did at
DJL coming up and asked if I was
Of course, I said I was interested.
The two roles he was hiring for were
an associate consultant and senior
consultant and asked me which
one I thought I could handle
I know most of you are aspire to
perspire can-do attitude people and
would have chosen the higher role
but I did not want to disappoint
him or myself and chose the associate
He then asked how much I was expecting
and I said the first amount that came to
mind. It wasn’t much based on educational
background and work experience
but it sure beats the 75k I was earning
at my lost job. he said he could afford t
o pay the amount and I mentally kicked
myself in the head for not asking for more.
That was the day the quote “be careful
what you wish for cuz you just might get it”
made sense to me.
We exchanged contact details and he said
he would call me later to have an informal
chat but for the most part, the job was
mine if I wanted it.
I thanked him and was shaking after I
left him as I walked to my car and drove home.
Ahmean just that morning I prayed to get
a job super casually and off-handedly
I might add and barely 2 hours later I
was offered one.
I got home still shaking and narrated the
story to my parents.
They were so happy and my daddy even
burst out in a praise song.
I then apologized for everything I put
them through during my depression
ordeal but they brushed it off and said
that was in the past and all was forgiven
and we needed to move forward.
That statement really touched me,
to be honest. I just want to say that
being a parent just like being married
teaches you forgiveness.
Anyway, my ex-boss called me that night
and asked when I could resume and I
said May 2nd.
He went on to schedule an interview
with him and the HR which was a breeze
and I was given an acceptance letter
with a little more than the amount I
asked for oh!
Turns out being fired by YA was a blessing
Blog: www.fire-cracker toyeen.com