Phone Chronicles

Happy one-year-old birthday to my 
phone and Tribute To My Old phones
 
You’re one of my most prized 
possessions and I pray for many more 
functional years together.
This is the first phone I’ve had that 
has lasted up to one year since I had 
my first phone in 2004 so I gotta 
take you guys through the life and 
demise of all my other phones. 
My very first phone was a Nokia 1100 
and I got it after my 18th birthday 
in 200 level. 
My sister who’s 2 years older than me 
had the same phone and I loved it. 
I begged and begged my dad before 
he finally conceded and gave me the 
money to buy the phone. I didn’t 
receive a lot of calls or texts on it 
(until I started responding to those 
“I want to meet a girl” Ads on the 
radio but that’s not why we are here 
today) but I spent a lot of time playing 
the snake game on it. 
The most memorable incident that 
happened with this phone took place 
a few months after I bought it. 
I used to put my phone in the back 
pocket of my jeans trousers and on 
this day I went to one of the toilets 
in Moremi hall where I stayed, pulled 
down my pants and off the phone 
fell into the toilet.
I was a 200 level elect/elect engineering 
student at the time so I ought to have 
known better but I took out my precious 
phone from the toilet (thankfully it was 
clean) and washed it with soap and 
water in the sink. I then dried it thoroughly 
with my towel and spread its parts 
in my room. 
24 hours later, I assembled the phone, 
turned it on and it came on but still 
had a few liquid marks. 
I took it apart again and after another 
24 hours, it was completely dry and 
good as new!
 Those were the days when phones 
were sturdy. 
Sadly, our time together was short-lived. 
This phone was stolen from me during 
a test around that staff school area 
still in 200 level. 
We were asked to drop our bags in 
front of the class and I naively/foolishly 
left my phone in my bag. 
After the test, I picked up my bag to 
leave only to find out that my beloved 
phone had been stolen
. I wasn’t a crying person then so I 
didn’t shed physical tears but I bled 
in my heart.
My second phone was a Nokia 6230i. 
I bought this phone in 300 level. 
It was the first phone to have all the 
relevant phone features at the time – 
music player, radio, decent picture 
quality, etc. 
It was quite expensive and I wonder 
where I got the money to buy it. 
Anyway, at some point during my IT, 
I was yet to learn from my experience 
with my old phone and again pulled 
down my jeans with the phone in 
my pocket and it fell into the toilet 
again. 
I rinsed it out this time around, took 
the phone apart, dried the parts, 
and left it in rice for 24 hours. 
But I guess Nokia’s phone quality had 
deteriorated as the phone failed to 
come on. 
Writing this has made me aware that
village people must have been following 
me for a pretty long time now because 
rather than take the phone to a reputable 
repairer with a roof over his head, I took 
it to one of those phone repairers who 
only had an umbrella over their heads 
and a signpost saying they fixed phones. 
I paid the amount asked and several 
days later when I returned to pick up 
my phone, I was told the phone could 
not be repaired. I asked for a refund 
for the money I paid but the guy just 
laughed at me and gave back my phone. 
That was the end of my precious phone.
My 3rd phone was a Nokia N96 (I was 
very loyal to Nokia). 
This phone cost me almost N50000 and 
I am ashamed to say I spent all the 
money I saved during my IT on it. 
But it was a gorgeous phone. 
It slid upward, had a large screen, a large 
memory to contain all my plenty songs, 
and was very loud speaker
So this particular feature appealed to me. 
I guarded this phone carefully and did 
not even take it to NYSC camp at 
Adamawa so that village people 
would not steal it – I took with me a 
N3000 Nokia phone instead whose 
only useful features were a call button 
and a radio. 
However, our time together was very 
brief as it also ended up being stolen. 
One fateful Saturday, I went to Eko 
market with my sister to buy baffs. 
We had visited a few shops but I 
saw no outfit that tickled my fancy 
(I was a very picky shopper).
There was a particular shop where 
we spent more time than usual – you 
know how it is -  You tell the 
salespeople what you want and they 
bring something that looks nowhere 
near what you described. 
You tell them you need to leave and 
they beg you to stay and lie to you 
that they have more options. 
They eventually bring more options 
but they too do not suit your needs. 
Anyway, we left without buying 
anything and it was after we left 
the shop that I searched for my 
phone and couldn’t find it. 
I went back to the shop and asked the 
sales girls if they saw my phone. 
They exclaimed that they didn’t see it 
and one of the sales girls made a 
snide remark saying; losing my phone 
was a consequence of my going up and 
down to shops and trying on clothes 
without buying anything. 
I suspect she was the thief who stole 
my phone but I had no proof and the 
phone had long since been switched off.
I used old Nokia phones whose names 
I can’t remember during the blackberry era. 
I never owned a blackberry because 
the performance was ill-suited for my 
impatient temperament and I was 
saving for an iPhone. 
I eventually bought my first iPhone in 
January 2012. 
I think I bought it online and my uncle 
who lived in the America brought it to 
Lagos for me during my Grandma’s burial. 
It was an iPhone 4s and was so slick 
and beautiful. 
I was still a learner at the time and did 
not know how fragile iPhone screens were. 
A day before my grandma’s burial, I was 
charging it in the living room in the village 
and placed it on the table. 
My sister moved her chair backward to 
get up and somehow our phone wires got 
crossed and my beloved baby sorry 
phone slipped and fell and the screen 
was cracked. 
I do not remember if I cried or not. 
I asked around and was told it would 
cost N20000 to fix the screen. 
I paid N95000 for the phone and did 
not have an additional N20000 to fix 
the screen so I kept using it with the 
broken screen.
I took it with me to grad school in the 
US and one night, after studying in 
the library, I dumped the trash from 
what I ate and drank in the bin and 
left for my apartment. 
When I got home,  I searched my bag 
and pockets for my phone but couldn’t 
find it. 
I was studying in a cubicle by myself 
in the library so I didn’t think someone 
stole it from me. 
Unfortunately, the library had closed. 
Early the following morning, I went 
back to the library but the trash had 
been emptied. 
People of God I asked for where trash 
was emptied and I went to the trash 
disposal area at the back of the library. 
I kept doing “find your iPhone” but I am 
sure the battery was long dead by then. 
I pleaded with the trash people to help 
me look for my phone before they disposed 
of it but they told me they didn’t sift 
through the trash before disposal. 
That my friends was how I lost my very 
first iPhone. 
There would be more phone losses in 
my future.

To be continued…
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