She had four suitors as soon as she graduated from the University
She had dated on and off for years but never thought it right to awaken love when it would most likely not lead to anything tangible
The four suitors were fine young men, each one responsible and lovable in their own way but none of them rang a bell for her
She felt the love they profess wasn’t wholly for her person but more for what she had become
She was a medical practitioner of note
A trophy wife material for any ambitious man
She knew this, but wanted love for her to be about her person, who she is!
She was also drawn to intelligent conversation
"Is he deep?
Would he be adding any value to her life?
Could she learn from him?
Could he sustain an intelligent conversation without feeling intimidated by her depth?
Is he a thinker?"
She loved thinkers!
Her Father was also a doctor and a thinker to boot!
She turned to the Lord in prayer
Her walk with the Lord had deepened over the years and her fellowship with the Holy Spirit was awesome
“Lord, it is time for me to get married, please guide my “husband” to me”
There was a guy she had long heard wonderful things about
He was an egghead, a thinker, a trailblazer and a doctor
He had been in the UK for some time
He also looked the part
He ticked all her boxes
He definitely would want her for who she was and she would definitely love and respect him
She found his message in her inbox right after she prayed
She was overwhelmed with joy
Was it really that easy?
They got talking
His words stirred her soul
Within a few weeks they had became very close friends
Love poems twirled back and forth
Their discussions were not only engaging, they were deep
Her heart was tabula rasa
He took his time to write on it with the imprints of his soul
But he didn’t ask her out
He just declared his love out of the blue, boldly and unabashedly
She didn’t know what to make of it
Was the declaration the beginning of a relationship or a statement of fact?
She had seen many people with declared love who never went on to act on it
“What does this mean?”
He returned home
He bought her gifts, spoke very kindly to her
Ah! Stuff of dreams!!
Her grandmother died
Friends and well-wishers came to condole with her mother
He came around, condoled with her mother and spent some time with her
She had been curious about chemistry
Would they feel awkward around each other?
Would they feel right together?
Would it be natural and seamless?
It was a glorious time
He was her forever desire
As he was about to leave, he gave her the news
He had been previously married but now divorced
This was an absolute blinder?
Another woman’s husband?
She would automatically become an adulteress!
He saw her shock and tried his best to soften the blow
The woman he divorced had been previously married, she was only after his money, she tried very hard to dupe him, the marriage lasted only a month, the woman went back to her ex-husband after the wedding, he would soon get a nullification, it was a dent he regretted but he had to move on….
She saw him off
That night she gave herself a stern evaluation
She loved him! That much was undeniable
She could see their future together
She had always carried her family along before she dated anybody
She didn’t want to invest her time and energy in someone her parents would disapprove of
She told her mother
Her mother said “No way”
She talked and talked
Trying to sell the idea to her mother
Her mother sensed her determination to marry him
Her mother told her to get the opinion of a Bishop
The Bishop advised that she should try someone fresh but it was not wrong if they both have sincere and genuine intentions
She told her mother
Her mother asked her to get a second opinion from a pastor
The pastor said the same thing
Her mother said her father would never approve
She took her time, prayed and approached her father
Her mother saw her whispering with her father
Two doctors, Hippocratic Oath collusion!
Her mother told her to leave the room
Convinced her father it is a No, No
Her father said No
She called her guy
This is what my parents said
Her guy said she should arrange a meeting
He would like the opportunity to speak with her parents
She told her father her guy wants to meet
Her father agreed
By this time her guy was back in the UK
She called him
She sensed he had become aloof
She didn’t understand it
He claimed her mother gave him a cold treatment the day he came to their house, he had other ladies warming up to him whose parents didn’t have any problem with his status as a divorcee, he just didn’t want to be stressed over a past mistake!
She felt horrible
Her she was fighting tooth and nail for their love
Defying her parents
And he wasn’t even acting like he wanted to fight along with her!
She cooled her enthusiasm
It was back on
He said he’d meet with her father
She told her father
Her father said “Ask if he truly deeply loves you”
She told him “My Father said I should ask you if you truly deeply loves me”
He said: “I truly deeply love you”
She was happy
He returned home from abroad
He called her
“Please don’t tell your Father I am back from the UK”
She went to see him, she didn’t understand
He: I don’t love you like that anymore!
Since when? This was a guy who was declaring his true deep love just three days before
He said he felt he was a bit confused and had to search himself to see if the love was still there
But the love had gone!
So why didn’t you tell me since so that I can move on with my life? Why did you drag me on and on while I turned my back on those who loved me and were protecting my interest?
Why tell me you love me just three days ago?
He said it wasn’t that simple, she was over simplifying stuff
She said love is a decision
He said love is a feeling
“So when you stopped having the feeling, why didn’t you just say so?”
He walked away!
It was as if a knife was driven into her heart, everything grinded to halt
She is still picking the pieces, trying to get the engine running again!
PS: It happened from March 15th 2016 until January 2017
She had repaired the damage done to her relationship with her parents
She insists no man is worth turning your back on your parents and God for
She is stronger for it!