The Corper's Secret

The Corper's Secret 

So I have these aunties, while 
growing up 
(We call everyone older than us 
Aunty this or Brother that) 
Aunty B, Aunty T, and Aunty C
Aunty B and Aunty T were not our 
blood relatives Aunty C was 
They all lived with us at my 
grandfather's house 
My grandmother is a business tycoon, 
in fact, till date she is the Iyaloja of 
my town 
She is into all forms of goods, from 
charcoal to yam flour, from corn to 
sponge 
She sells everything 
Many of the villagers she had business 
dealings with will sometimes bring their 
daughters to her for apprenticeship 
This was how i got to have so many 
(Aunties) 
They hawked goods and also man shops 
for my grandmother 
Of all the aunties, one was my grandmother's 
child 
That's Aunty C, she was the pampered one 
and the one that was getting an education 
out of all the aunties 
In 1990,   we went to spend our holidays 
with our grandparents in the village 
As soon as we got to the village 
I noticed something strange 
My grandparent's immediate neighbors 
to the left had rented out a room to 
a youth "corper" 
This guy was a very handsome guy 
Why did I notice him? 
One of the aunties sneaked food out of the 
backyard to this guy through his window 
I saw it happen through my grandfather's 
window 
It really piqued my interest but I didn't 
say a word to anybody 
Later that same day, i went to Aunty C's 
room and found tons of love letters 
Oh my! There is no sin as sweet as 
reading the love letters addressed 
to a girl without her knowledge 
This guy was thorough and very skilled 
I spent hours reading the letters, he 
wrote over a hundred letters and 
from the letters, I plotted the graph 
of the progress of the relationship 
The language shifted from "seeing you" 
to "touching your hand", to 
"kissing you", to "holding you", 
to "Hope you didn't get home too 
late last night, and "That delayed 
period gave me a scare" 
I knew exactly where they met and 
how often
But Aunty K was different from 
Aunty B Aunty B was the one sneaking 
food to the Youth Corper but Aunty K 
was the one to whom the letters 
were addressed 
I didn't see it as a big deal in any way 
Aunty C could send any of my 
grandmother's apprentices on an errand 
at will 
She was Mama's daughter and she was 
very bossy 
Then one evening, my grandmother sent 
two of us to Orita Merin Market to buy Eko 
and Akara (Dinner for the house) 
On our way back, I and my cousin that 
went to buy it had an argument as to who 
was older and who should carry the Eko 
and Akara
I was a few months older than him and 
I was lording the April-September thing 
over him 
He dumped the stuff on the road and 
walked away 
He thought i would give in and carry it 
(Our agreement was that he should 
carry halfway home and I would carry 
it through the other half but I reneged I 
called his bluff and walked away too 
I didn't even look back, i knew he would
 have to carry it eventually 
So I left the main road and took another 
road home 
There was a full moon that night 
The route i took led me right through to 
the backyard of my grandparent's house
As soon as I turned the corner, I saw them 
The Youth Corper and Aunty T, right 
behind the wall of the kitchen 
They were doing that thing that Portiphar's 
wife wanted to do with Joseph 
Corper was at the back while Aunty T 
bent down like someone planting cassava 
in front of him
Wow! I weighed my option and decided 
to run past them I couldn't walk through 
or hide until they were done 
I must get home before my cousin so that 
I can tell my grandmother that he was 
bringing the dinner
 If he got home first, he would say the 
same thing and I'd be in trouble
So i ran past and we all saw one another 
When i got home, i met my grandfather 
on his long bench preparing to tell us 
the stories for the night 
My cousin arrived with dinner a few 
minutes later (He repented and went 
back to get it from the road) 
A few minutes later, Aunty T came
in through the main gate I didn't say a 
word to anybody about what i saw 
About two weeks later, we suddenly 
heard some ruckus from the backyard 
Aunty K and Aunty B were fighting, 
it started with a few heated words and 
quickly escalated into a fisticuff 
My grandmother was not around
Some tenants got involved and 
separated the fight 
When my grandmother returned, 
Aunty K quickly went to her room in 
tears to report whatever Aunty B did. 
(Remember she was the pampered one) 
When my grandfather returned home, 
one of the tenants came to see him 
and he got updated
The next morning, we all gathered as 
usual at the prayer table 
We sang a hymn 
Then it was time for the exhortation 
My grandfather asked the ladies to tell 
the house what happened in his absence 
the previous day Aunty C said she had a 
misunderstanding with aunty B and it 
has been settled 
My grandfather turned to Aunty B, 
"Has this fight or misunderstanding 
been settled?" 
Aunty B said "If they said it is settled, 
it is settled" 
Everybody could detect a note of 
"They are saying their own" in her voice 
My Grandfather told her to explain to 
the house what her grievances were 
Aunty B said "They were asking me to 
abort my pregnancy so that Aunty C 
can be happy and I will never do it" 
What! 
My grandfather turned to my grandmother, 
Do you know anything about this? 
My grandmother said "The boy is K's friend, 
K loves him and this B went to
throw herself on his neck. 
Now she is saying she is pregnant, the 
boy in question has denied it and her 
parents didn't bring her here to get 
pregnant. 
I didn't ask her to abort it. 
She will leave my house if indeed she 
is pregnant. 
That was the discussion i had with her. 
By this time Aunty C was crying softly, 
then she said "How could a corper look 
at a prostitute and ignorant fool like you 
and want to be with you, you went to 
throw yourself at him and now you think 
you have a husband. 
You will leave our house" 
(She said all these in English, Aunty B and
Grandma were non-literates. Grandpa was 
literate and so was all the grandchildren 
with them for that holiday 
Aunty T was seating right by Aunty B 
She translated for Aunty B 
As soon as Aunty B heard what Aunty K said, 
she leapt at her across the table trying to
grab aunty C
(She was so angry, so mad)
We had not even prayed yet 
Some of the other older ones restrained 
Aunty B 
After a few minutes, everybody calmed 
down 
Then My grandfather, God bless his soul, 
said in an authoritative voice, "Is there 
anybody here who knows anything that 
could shed more light on this and make it
clearer? 
I said Yes sir. 
Everybody looked at me 
Aunty T's eyes turned to me with a glare as 
powerful as the sun 
I said "I saw the copper and Aunty T 
having sex a few days ago as we were 
coming from the market!" 
Aunty B looked at me, turned to Aunty T 
and gave her a dirty slap!
Apparently, Aunty T had been in her 
corner,  coaching and supporting her 
as they take on Aunty C and the 
establishment! 
It was the most bizarre prayer hour 
I had in my life, another was to happen 
when i was 19 but that was the weirdest! 
All aunties are grandmothers now!

PS: Aunty B was not really pregnant
She was only trying to dissuade the
others from competing with her over
the Youth Corper
After the episode, the youth corper
moved out and never returned
All the aunties were happily married
a few years later