The Fetish

She called him late in the night

She said she had done something bad

Something absolutely crazy

He wondered what it was

But he hated playing the guessing game

He was sure she just needed attention

She was always afraid he was going to forget her

She dreaded that

To be so easily forgotten by someone she cared about

But he didn’t care about her that way

He saw her potential

She had everything it took to get to the top

She could have it all

But she was wrestling demons deep within her

She needed the affirmation of a guy

Though she didn’t have her own man

The urge to be needed or even wanted often overwhelm her

She desired to hear a guy say “I love you”, “I need you”, I miss you”, I want you”

She wanted the sweet nothings

She had male admirers who would gladly give her all the sweet words she wanted

She had single, healthy male admirers who would gladly make love to her until she purred like a cat

But she had never been attracted to such

Always she would find an excuse

Not to be with the obvious prospects

One was from another tribe

Another one was younger than she was

Yet another one was too quiet and introverted

She said one didn’t have “game”

Another didn’t have time

Yet another was too randy

Something was always wrong with her wooers

Ever since she was fifteen

She had developed a taste for the forbidden

It started with the Priests in her parish

She saw the desire in the eyes of one of them

She knew the priest wanted her

The priest asked her to come to his lodge

She asked him what would happen if she did

He: I will do what a man does and you will do what a woman must do

She: I don’t understand

He: We will make love

She: Isn’t that a sin? You took an oath of celibacy

He: Jesus only frowned at the sin of adultery in the Bible! As long as I don’t sleep with another man’s wife it is okay

She: What? I don’t understand you

He: Jesus didn’t talk about the sin of fornication in the Bible because he understood that we were all flesh and blood and the body’s hunger would need to be satisfied somehow

She: JESUS! This is blasphemy!

He: No! My daughter, that is reality! Would you come?

She didn’t answer him

She just walked away

All through that week, she thought about what the priest said

Then she considered it truly

How could a normal human being have to live absent of sex because of religion?

The priests must really be suffering

Perhaps it would be a blessing if she went to help him relieve tension from time to time

She quickly perished the thought

What had gotten into her?

Two days later, she was at the priest’s lodge

Perhaps it was curiosity, perhaps it was audacity

The priest must be at least twenty-five years older than her

He didn’t talk much

He took of her clothes with his lips and light fingers

She allowed him do everything he could except penetrate her

It was fun to see the torture in his eyes

Fun to see the power she wielded over him

Empowering to see him beg until she made him come in her mouth

She enjoyed every bit of it

Her affair with that particular priest lasted for six years

It stopped when she graduated from the university and was posted to another state for her NYSC

By the time she returned from NYSC

Her priest had been transferred to another parish

He didn’t even inform her of his departure

He just disappeared into thin air

She also relocated a few weeks later

She moved to another city, hoping to get a job and a husband

She was technically a virgin

Her hymen was intact

But she knows so much more about sex than many of her peers

She enjoyed the fact that her secret was forever safe

Who would her priest tell of their escapades

She was able to hold her head high and claim she was a virgin

Many of her friends wondered how she did it

She kept her secret, secret!

When she settled down in another city, she found herself attracted to another priest

The cycle was established after then

She remained a “virgin” and moved from one priest to the other in order to enjoy consensual conjugation

By the age of 25, she decided it was time to settle down with a serious potential

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had prospects

Two of her wooers turned out to be AS

The church discouraged such unions heavily

She had also seen enough in her short life to know it was a bad idea

Then she met this guy

He was a reverend from the Anglican church

A sharp dresser

Very popular and anointed

She was drawn to him

He was drawn to her

One day she went to see him in his office

They talked

She told him her problem

“I have a priest fetish” she lamented

He asked if he could pray for her

She stood up

He laid hands on her head with his eyes closed

She stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips

Deliverance turned into a tryst

She gave him the same treatment

"No penetration!"

He did every other thing

She did every other thing!

When they were done

He couldn’t believe what had happened to him

Her "Priest Fetish" got him too

She left

He felt terrible about what happened

He decided he needed to get a wife as soon as possible

She kept coming to his office

But he never attempted to pray for her again

And the “sex thing” never happened again

One Saturday, she got to his parish only to be told he was getting married that day

It hurt her deeply

Why didn’t he marry her?

She loved him and would have made a fine wife for him?

She cried for many days

Eventually she told one of her friends her problem

The friend introduced her to a pastor from the Pentecostal church

She became friends with the pastor

They talked and talked

She expected him to beg for sex like the others

He didn’t

She couldn’t believe it

Aren’t Pentecostals supposed to be the rascals?

The Pentecostal pastor got her filled with the Holy Ghost

He introduced her to many dimensions of the spirit

He took her like a sister and refused to engage her emotionally

She didn’t like the fact that he was so detached

Why was he so hardened?

Was she losing her charm?

Was her fetish ebbing?

She tried all her wiles

He wouldn’t budge

She went home for the Christmas break

Sent her now married Anglican reverend a text message

“I’m in town”

“Come and see me on the 26^th” Reverend replied

She went to see reverend

They talked and caught up

The meeting was a good one

She spent an hour

When it was time for her to go

She walked over to his side

“I want a big hug” she says

He hugged her

She stood on her toe again

She kissed him!

He kissed her back

She really hadn’t lost her fetish

She enjoyed every bit of the next thirty minutes with him

When she got home

She called her Pastor friend

She says she has done something very terrible!

What did you do? He asked

“I kissed somebody” she replied

“Who” he asked

“My married Reverend friend” she replied

He realized at that moment

She really didn’t want to be free of the fetish

For all her talk of “I want to change”, “I am spirit filled”, “I am a new creature”

Deep within her, she was a mess

She had indulged in the forbidden for so long

She had forgotten where the boundaries were

For all her cry of “I am a victim”

She was unwilling to change

Like a dog, she had returned to her own vomit

She didn’t only eat it

She wallowed in the guilt, pain and shame

The very baggage she got rid of when she received the Holy Spirit!

Ps: it is not unusual for a Born-Again Christian to find himself

or herself down the familiar path of sinful habits

Man is a creation of habit

The familiar, no matter how horrible, comes naturally to us

The unfamiliar, no matter how good takes time to learn

Sin is extremely emotional

If you find yourself doing the things you don’t want to do despite your good judgement

Don’t give up

Keep telling yourself you are a new creation

Remind yourself you are better than the pit you find yourself in

Pray! Pray!! Pray!!!

Pray in tongues

Forgive yourself

Walk boldly to the throne of Grace and obtain mercy

Change the way you think

Just as Jesus said “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more”