Warped

Marriage was her undoing
She regretted getting into it from day one
It wasn't as if her life was perfect before
she got married
But she had sworn never ever to put
herself through that hell hole
Marriage was a patriarchial concept
It was designed to favour men and 
keep women in bondage
She learned this while she was an 
undergraduate
Her first lover was one of her lecturers
A married man!
He was in an open marriage in which
he and his wife both slept with other 
people
From what she saw, that was the best
way to satisfy biological longings without
bearing any burden of guilt, entitlement
and ownership mentality
Marriage simply wasn't her thing
Her husband understood the fact that
she was unsettled
He was five years older than her
She was thirty years old when she 
got married
So it wasn't as if she was too young and
the marriage caught her unawares
She just couldn't surrender her independence
She didn't like the picture it painted
Like She had willingly accepted that
Someone had become her "boss"
Her husband was very patient
Her husband told her she should make
whatever rules she wanted
He was willing to give her anything to
make her comfortable in the marriage
She didn't understand why she allowed
him to talk her into it
They had been lovers for four years
She was an artist
She was in charge of an art gallery 
They met at a gala somewhere in the UK
They were both the only Nigerians in the
gala
He was unattached and studying for his PhD
He was also working as a DJ in France
She was invited to the as a special guest
They got talking
She liked him
He liked her too
He invited her over to his apartment that
night
They started a casual relationship
Just sex and talk
It was what she had always preferred
Sex for her was a biological function
As long as she protected herself while
having it, she didn't see any big deal in
who she was having it with!
But he was different
Nothing with him was casual
It was as if he left a bit of himself in her
every time they were together
She had never been treated kindly or
respectfully by any of those she was
ever with
He made her remember him
She knew the symptoms and the pain
She fought it with all her heart
She even cheated on him with some of
her ex-lovers
Nothing dislodged him from her heart
She fell in love
She was scared and yet unable to stop
the tide from drawing her in
He understood
He cared
He was so consistent and true
She didn't know when she said yes to
his proposal
The wedding was done without any
fanfare
She was almost ashamed of herself
Marriage was the one thing she almost was 
too cocksure she would never do
From the moment she said those words
She became uneasy
It was as if she had put herself under a yoke
and had to find her way out by force
She gave him hell
She would leave the house and return
after several days partying and wandering
about
She was comfortable everywhere but at
her own home
The marriage went on for fourteen months
He eventually finished his Ph.D. and told
her he was going back home
She was happy to see him gone
She had always known she was not marriage
material
It was a mistake she wished she never made
It changed everything
Where she had been free to do whatever 
she wanted in the past
She felt guilty that she couldn't make her
marriage work
She knew he was a good man, the best
She couldn't do better than him
Yet, she managed to mess it up in a 
big way
She became very miserable
Six months after he left, she fell into 
depression
She had been through the cycle before
Depression, drug and alcohol abuse, 
therapy and recovery
She started shooting heroin
Just to get out of the pain and guilt
But things only got worse
She went into rehabilitation
Her parents were contacted in Nigeria
They flew to France and arranged to
take her back home
When she got home, she was committed
to a rehabilitation center
Her mother saw it as a spiritual attack
Her mother started going from church 
to church
Seeking help!
Someone told her mother about the Brother
in Jeans and T-shirt
Her mother called
"This is a problem I thought would not
reoccur in my children!
My family has a history of mental disorder
Out of six children, i was the only one
who was never afflicted to the point of
being committed to a psychiatric hospital!
Although, I still suffer from minor depression 
from time to time
Will you please help my daughter
She is a genius!
She went to France at the age of 18 on a 
Federal Government Scholarship
She started her own business in France in her 
early twenties
Please, don't let the enemies have the last
laugh 
My daughter's potentials must not come to 
waste!
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt went to 
see her at the Hospital on a Saturday
at around 11 am
She had been weaned off the drugs and 
was behaving quite normally
Her parents and two younger siblings
were with her
The brother in jeans and T-shirt said 
"Where is your husband?"
Her mother said "She isn't married"
Her father laughed in a mocking tone
of (All these fake prophets)
Her sisters knew
Their body language gave them away
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt asked
her again
"Please, where is your husband?"
She looked at him with tears streaming down
her face
"I chased him away
I am a bad person
I treated him like scum
I am sorry
I am so sorry...."
Her parents looked at each other
They had no idea she was married
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt asked
her younger sisters if they had any idea
who the husband was or his phone 
number
One of them, the immediate younger
sister had it
The brother in Jeans and T-shirt called
him
They arranged a meeting for 2 pm the 
following day
Her husband was a lecturer with a prominent
private university
They talked
Her husband still loved her and couldn't place
a finger on why she treated him so horribly
When he heard she was in Nigeria and needed
his help
He jumped on his feet!
He was very eager to help
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt and her husband
went to see her at the hospital the next day
Her doctor was there and so were her immediate 
family members
When she saw her husband, her face lit up
It was the most outstanding transformation
the Brother in Jeans and T-shirt had ever seen
She jumped out of her bed and hugged him
She was crying like a baby
He hugged her too
He was also crying 
After about five minutes, she released him
She used her two hands to hold him still
by the shoulders
Then she fell on her knees and said "I am
sorry! Please forgive me"
Her husband tried to draw her to her feet
but she refused, so he also knelt down 
and hugged her!"
After all the drama
She introduced him to her parents and
siblings
He was her husband and she was proud
of him
The family had a session with the psychiatrist
afterward
One week later, she was discharged!
She and her husband went to see the Brother
in Jeans and T-shirt, they had lunch together
and talked
She said she didn't know how to explain the 
darkness that overtook her as soon as she
got married
She said she almost committed suicide twice
It wasn't about her husband or his conduct
Her mind kept imagining all sorts of evil
that would happen to her in the course
of the marriage
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt explained
told her it was the effect of negative news,
negative thoughts, negative beliefs, preconditioned
mindset, evil reports and so on
A demonic stronghold had been erected in her
mind about marriage
And her mind was just playing out preconceived
survival strategies
It was both demonic and natural
She had fed her mind the wind and she reaped
the whirlwind
The Brother in jeans and T-shirt prayed with
them
He asked the Holy Spirit to come upon them
and heal their minds
He blessed them in the name of Jesus
Later that day she moved to Ogun State to 
be with her husband

PS: She shuttles between France and Nigeria
at the moment
Their family is expecting a baby in a few 
month
The mind is a complex thing
It was made to know and imagine good things
Feeding it with negative ideologies and hate
warps it
A warped mind is caged and would always
seek expression by inflicting pain on others
or itself!

Guard your heart with all diligence,
for out of it flows the issues of life 
- Proverbs 24:3