Wrong Target

‘The very worst fear of a bad wife

Was that her husband would meet another woman

Who would expose her inadequacies’ she came to this conclusion as she observed her sister’s marriage

Her sister was a good woman who found marriage very challenging

There was no doubt in her mind that regardless of the person her sister married

She would really struggle

Her sister like many modern women did not regard herself as a “wife”

She was a partner, an equal partner, with her husband

She wanted to be able to dish out instructions to her husband

Break him down and remold him to her taste

While there was nothing wrong with that

Remolding others without being willing to be remolded is selfish

A good example of this was her husband’s natural lack of social niceties

The guy was a loner who would hug a book, read a novel or chat on the phone

He was very uncomfortable with people getting in his face

Regardless of who!

Her sister knew this, it could even be argued that it was one of the attributes he had that endeared her sister to him

He kept his family at arm’s length, far away from his home

He always claimed he doesn’t want extended family in home

His family respected his decision

But his wife didn’t

His wife would do everything to bring her own family members into their home

Claiming he was rude or deliberately putting up attitude when her people bombard his quiet space

Isn’t she supposed to be grateful that he built a hedge around his home?

Isolating her from the prying eyes and undue offences from entitled family members?

She thought the space he kept his family away from was a vacuum she should fill

She was wrong!

Her inability to match her husband’s restrictive hedge pitted her husband in a war against his own nature

He was left exposed and he fought like a wounded lion

Her family took his defensive posture as ‘He was evil’

Her sister thought this will soften her husband up

She was wrong!

He had a skin as hard as a tortoise’s shell

She couldn’t pierce it

Her inability to protect him also left her in a weak position

He stopped trusting her to make intelligent decisions

He would say “If I went out of my way to protect you from my own family, the least you should have done is keep your family away from me and you failed at that!’’

Her sister simply couldn’t do that!

She lacked the ability to keep her home from the wolves and she hung by the thread to her man only because he had no intention of walking away from the marriage

But history sometimes repeats itself!

Her sister waited a little, strengthened her hold on her family and promptly slipped back into the same cycle

It was like the two of them were fighting the same battle over and over

He didn’t want to be sociable with anybody

Her sister would scream “My mother called you, you didn’t pick and you didn’t return her call! I will not take this lying down, you have always been perpetually rude to my mother’

He would calmly respond “How many times do I return my own mother’s call? She sends me voice notes most of the time. Please let me be’’

And the cycle would begin again.

She wished her sister would get it. 

She had studied her sister's husband and found him to be concerned about about the welfare of his nuclear home, her safety and the well being of their children. He had never opened the door to his family members to see her sister's shortcomings and he had never reported her to anybody. 

It was her sister who kept opening the door to outsiders. Reporting him to pastors, relatives and friends.

Her husband didn't really care that much about anybody's opinion and this drives her sister crazy.

He was like an untherthered horse, roaming wild and preventing her from riding into the sunset!

Peace was at her sister's finger tips if only she would apply wisdom and not rile this good man. 

The man seemed fed up of fighting this old war and she is afraid he might meet someone wiser who would just change the game entirely for her sister!

But who was she to speak?

She was one of the family members her sister brought into his house despite his disposition.

The End