Alabaster

Alabaster

Gbenga, I stumbled across your website recently. You are very gifted. Beyond the gift, I guess you have seen many of life’s curved balls and have learnt not to be quick to judge unlike many of your young and idealistic twitter followers.

Is there anybody who doesn’t want a perfect story?

Is there anybody who doesn’t desire a perfect life?

Thank God for God!

If people were God, no one would ever walk with their heads high after stumbling over the proverbial stone

Look at all the women in the lineage of Jesus!

Do you think God couldn’t have chosen more pristine vessels?

Mortals will always be eager to throw judgmental stones in the name of God, especially those whose sins were forgiven freely (I mean Christians).

Like the prodigal son’s elder brother we are quick to take offence that grace was extended to somebody who erred!

I am telling my story, I expect to be judged as others before me were!

I could have kept my experiences to myself, but I was forgiven much and I intend to give much more of myself like the woman with the Alabaster box!

 Love bids redemption stories be shared for others to be guided away from the pit.

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I fell in love for the first time when I was 15

I fell in love with the most unlikely person in the world

My Father was a renowned socialite

My surname had a lot of weight

I was destined for a glorious and financially secure future

The young man I fell in love with was a “teacher”

My lesson teacher

He didn’t do anything to encourage me because that would have been the end of his life

My father was a very powerful man

I was an okay student but I struggled with the core science subjects

My older siblings were all art students and I had nobody to turn to for help

I could have studied arts too but I wanted to forge a different path for myself

When my father saw my first term results as a science student he summoned my school principal

They discussed and agreed I needed a brilliant teacher to help me navigate the treacherous waters of Physics, Chemistry, Further mathematics and Mathematics

I wasn’t consulted

The day my “Tutor” resumed, my father simply said “Your private tutor will be arriving at 4pm today”

That was all!

I hated the private tutor that very moment

4pm was my siesta period and I love to read my Mills and Boons those days before being led into dreamland by my imagination

But the moment I saw him, I changed my mind

He was the opposite of my father in stature. He was tall, lanky, lean, soft spoken and very patient

He was the first son of a carpenter

He was teaching to save enough money to study medicine

He had unconventional methods of teaching.

He knew the tricks and the short cuts to solving many mathematical problems

He was good

I fantasized about him a lot

I believe he wasn’t even aware of my feelings for him until I wrote and passed my GCE the following year

We both gained admission to study medicine two years later

He got a scholarship

I had always known I cannot marry him

I don’t even think I desired him that way

“There are people you love for a season, there are people you love for a reason, there are people you love for today and there are people you love for tomorrow”

 I know there is no future to the relationship, no plans, just that season

He was involved with another a beautiful lady he met while in the college of education

I was not one of those ladies who will pine in secret and pray for a guy to look their way

When I want something I went for it

I had written him a thank you letter after I passed my GCE and in it I had expressed my desire to be his “closet” girlfriend

I simply invaded his space and life once we settled down on campus

He was a very serious bookworm, his social life was limited to me, a friend and church

He remained my teacher even at that level

Medicine came easily to him

When we got to 200 level, he gained admission to Cambridge University

The admission came with a federal government scholarship

He travelled immediately

We wrote letters for a while, but the waves of the oceans of life were always very unsteady

We made each other no promises, it had always been destined to end in tears

I didn’t meet any other guy I was even remotely interested in until I graduated

I was in Monaco with my family during the Christmas break when my father broke the news that we would be having guests

He was a musician, the son of a musician

His father was a global icon

He was on tour with his father

They were in Monaco and decided to come to my father’s studio apartment

It wasn’t feverish love

But it was the type of love that I can see a future in

He already had a child but he was not married

We frequent the same social circle and we really liked and respected each other

He was very clear what he wanted

We were married three years later

I had my first child around our third wedding anniversary

Life settled into its usual patterns and habits

When my child was three, we went to the UK

My child got an infection

We went to the hospital

My child got treated

As we were saying goodbye to the very friendly pediatrician

“My Tutor” came in

The pediatrician was his friend

He had become a surgeon, a much respected surgeon

I had the most unexpected feeling when I saw him

We chatted, he played with my child, and we laughed

“My Tutor” as I used to call him made my heart sing like Asa

We exchanged numbers and parted ways

I found myself smiling, strangely happy

That feeling of butterflies fluttering about in one’s belly

My husband was usually on tour for at least half of the year and perhaps I was lonely

I offer no excuse

I had never ever thought or felt that way for anybody

Not even “my tutor” when we were in school together as lovers

I called him the next day

You can guess what I wanted

We met, we talked, he was married

I saw the picture of his family, he had two pretty daughters

I wasn’t deterred!

I slept with him

He tried to protest but who was he kidding?

His body language was like “If not for this ring I am wearing”

He wanted me – I wanted him – Away with barriers!!!

It went on for a week

My husband’s tour ended

My husband returned home

I returned home

Nine months later I had my second child

I avoided the UK like a plague afterwards

For two years, I stayed at home tending to my family and my clinic

Then he called

He was in the country and he would like to see me before returning to the UK

He had bought a house

He invited me over

You can guess what he wanted

I went to his house about ten times in the two weeks before he travelled

My husband didn’t go on tour that year

Nine months later, I had my third child

The relationship continued, on and off like that

A sporadic two weeks every other year wherever we can meet in the world

My husband went on tour one year and received an anonymous package containing a picture of “My tutor” and another picture of me and my children with a note “Notice the resemblance?”

Perhaps it was from “his wife”

Perhaps it was from “Him” or someone else.

I never knew

My husband returned home and ordered a DNA test on all the children

The two in the picture were not his

He was broken.

I was a prostitute, I was a loose woman, I was a witch, I was a whore, I was a destiny destroyer

I deserved it all!

He filed for divorce, took his three children from me and threw me out with my two bastards!

I was devastated

I had always suspected he was not their biological father, but he was the father they knew

If he had brought home children for me from another woman

I would have accepted them

Nobody knew I was not the mother of his first child!

I knew I was wrong, but he had slept with many women after we got married. Many of his backing vocalists and dancers had shared his bed

I know for a fact he had children outside of our marriage, all sorts of ladies throw themselves at him all the time wanting to sire a child bearing the legendary surname he has!

I had always looked the other way

Always!

Whenever I protested, he would say it was a hazard of the job

I had to explain to my children at their tender age why they had to change their surnames and why their “Father” was no longer their father

In retrospect, if I had the opportunity to undo the past and live my life all over again, I would never have gone down the road I took!

I regret my actions

It was not worth it in the end

I remember falling into depression several times

I remember crying myself to sleep on so many nights

I remember praying fervently once for death to come and take away my shame

I could barely leave my flat at a time

My misdeeds scourged me to the bone

One day a friend of ours came over to my flat

She had called me several times but I didn’t have the strength to talk to anybody

She was an actress, a darling of the movie industry for many years

She had become a pastor and said the Holy Spirit sent her to me

She told me about Jesus and his love for women like me

She told me I made the wrong decisions because I didn’t have Jesus in my life and If I accept Jesus I will experience total freedom from shame, depression and condemnation

I didn’t believe that could ever happen

I had been stigmatized for life

But she was passionate and very convincing

I gave my life to Jesus

‘I felt I was just saying words’

But the words did something extraordinary to me

The Word changed me

She gave me a bible

I read the book of John

Illumination came suddenly

My body began to tremble

WOW!

The next day I went to a nearby church

I started going out again

I was loved, I knew it, I felt it

The voices of shame and condemnation were drowned

I was happy again

Jesus is joy

Jesus is ineffable love

Jesus is true peace

I hold my head high

I have obtained forgiveness

I am citizen of heaven

Nobody can ever condemn me

Jesus is mine! Hallelujah

I also learnt a vital lesson from Jesus

I stopped Judging and started loving

Love prevails over all things.

 

 

Thank you

 

PS: I posted this as received,

There is a lot to learn from it

Above all, a life without Jesus is destined for crisis

Not the religious Jesus peddled by bigots

Take the Bible, read the book of John, meet the “Jesus” without strings and conditions

The real Jesus

Call unto Him today

And watch his transforming power at work in your life!