They told them many stories when he joined the ushering department of his church

Ghost stories to scare little children

The story of a couple who used to steal tithe and offering in one Pentecostal church

They said the couple’s children ran mad

The couple had to confess

Yada, Yada, Yada, Yada

Scare tactics

Is it not church money?

God doesn’t spend money

Men do!

In some countries the church volunteers get paid

But not over here

You serve them until they buy a jet

All they will ever give you is God bless you

On some Sundays they may buy you lunch

That’s all!


They told them another story

A lady who couldn’t get a husband despite all the prayers and the miracles happening in their church

Because she had her hand in the till

What did one have to do with the other?

What about the girls sleeping around who are getting married every day?

Didn’t the bible say one sin is not greater than the other?

All these pastors with their God delusions

Awn! He had no intention of robbing the church blind

Just a little here and a little there to keep body and soul together

He was good at pilfering Church money

Mostly because he understood the religious Public Relations game

He bought gift for pastor and his children

He gets to church before any other worker

He was prayerful and dedicated in his own way

Of course he was not born again

He wondered what that meant

But he spoke the language, wore the garb and looked the look

Within three years he was made the chief usher

He had a job and the little pocket money he earned from the tithes and offerings kept his steady

He met a girl in church

A babe in the choir

They came to an understanding

Wedding bells got hoisted

Ding dong to come soon

He was a good leader

The other ushers loved him

He handled their cases with maturity

The pastor also loved him like a son

There was talk of making him a parish pastor somewhere

He resisted the temptation

Better to keep a low profile and gain the benefit of the alter

Didn’t the scripture say the ox that thread the grain shouldn’t be muzzled?

Their pastor travelled, went on a tour of America

The other ministers steadied the ship

Services were good!

Pastor returned from America

He was the first person pastor called

He got to pastor’s house

Pastor handed him an envelope

Called it his American tour tithe

Pastor said he should drop it in the tithe box in the church immediately

He collected the money

He had a wedding ahead

He needed the money

The church was a big church

He needed the money more

He got to work the next day

Credited his dollar account with the money

He had discovered the secret of wealth: A little here, a little there and a straight face

Saturday night, he was told to be in the office on Sunday for an emergency meeting

He sent pastor a text, went to work first thing on Sunday

Sunday service over, pastor made an unusual request

Bring me the tithe and offering record

The assistant chief usher took the record to Pastor

Pastor didn’t see any record of his $6000 tithe

Pastor called him

He would have doctored the books if he had been in church

He told pastor he dropped it on the same day pastor gave him

Pastor ordered the ushers to check the tithe box

It was empty!

Pastor told all the workers in the church to stay put

Pastor announced to them that someone in the church stole $6000

They have to fish it out within the next 21 days

He rushed to church, met all the workers in church

He went directly to pastor’s office

He swore by heaven and earth that he dropped the money in the tithe box

The pastor declared a 21 days fast

Told all the workers to gather in church every evening for prayer

They got to church on day 1

Pastor rained cursed from the book of Jeremiah on the thief

They got to church on day 2

Pastor rained curses from the book of Psalms on the book

They got to church on Day 3

Pastor rained curses from the book of lamentations on the thief

He slept that night

The curses came alive

He lost all rest, he lost all sleep

He saw his future covered in blood

He knelt down and prayed

God please forgive me, don’t let this curses have any effect on me

He slept and he saw Jesus

Jesus was in a very glorious garden

He wanted to cross over to where Jesus was

He found himself surrounded by thorns and thistles

He woke up

Oh! My God

Jesus is real!

He ran to Pastor’s house at dawn

Pastor! Pastor!! Pastor!!!

I was the one

I have been doing it for a long time

Please sir, have mercy, pray for me!

Pastor told him to bring the money to the prayer meeting that evening

He confessed his misdeeds

He returned the money

Pastor forgave him

Pastor gave him a big field to clear for his contrition

He obeyed

He got to the field like clockwork and cleared it for hours

It took him three months, but he did it

His fiancée left him

The shame was too much

She didn’t want to be a partaker of his curses

Contrition over, Pastor blessed him

Three months later, he got a job with a German company

He became an expatriate!


PS: He is now happily married with three children

He lives in Germany with his family

He is a born again Christian

This event happened at a Pentecostal church in Ibadan, Oyo state