Banana Peel

When I was in Aberdeen for the GSWMI hangout 2025, I met a young man. A Nigerian who travelled to the United Kingdom to get an education with the help of his grandmother.

Before he left Nigeria, he had a relationship, and he was faithful to it. He was also raised to be kind. He cooks, cleans after himself, makes friends easily, and is a natural people pleaser. I observed all the traits in him, even before I heard his story.

He came in for our programme looking a little out of sorts and asking to be prayed for.

After the service, he came to me and said, “I didn’t want to come to this meeting because I am very tired, but I told God if I found my wallet, I would come, because my wallet has been missing for a few days. Then I took a pair of trousers, put them on, and my wallet was in the pocket, so I knew God wanted me to be here.”

He said he met some Nigerian ladies while in school in Aberdeen, they became friends, and he invited them over to his house for a meal. The three ladies called him before leaving for his house, and he told them to buy plantain on their way over to his house because he didn’t have any left.

They came with the plantain, and he cooked rice, chicken stew, and fried plantain for them. He said he overheard the ladies talking about his homeliness and cooking skills and teasing one another about him being a potential husband.

After their lunch, the ladies left. One of them called after about an hour, claiming she had forgotten her handbag in his house. He had gone off to a charity event at the time, but he told the lady where the key to his apartment was and gave her the go-ahead to swing by the apartment at any time and pick up her bag.

He said it was a student’s apartment, and there was nothing there that any reasonable person could steal. His girlfriend called him while he was at the charity event, and they were on a video call together until he got home.

When he got home that night, he met the lady he had instructed to pick up the keys in order to pick up her forgotten handbag on his couch. His girlfriend was upset on the phone. He found himself in a very difficult situation. The time was around 1:30 AM.

His girlfriend was screaming blue murder. The other lady claimed she came in to get her bag, sat down to rest a while, and fell asleep on the couch. His girlfriend was accusing him of cheating or of intention to cheat.

The other lady just lay there, on the couch, unperturbed by the storm she had stirred up in his life with his girlfriend. He wasn’t allowed to get off the call; his girlfriend said he could not get off the call until the strange lady left his apartment. So, he told the lady to leave. The time was around 2 AM. The lady protested that it was too late in the night for her to go back to her room, but he was not having it. He got her an Uber, and she left.

His girlfriend berated him for lacking boundaries and allowing himself to be taken advantage of by ladies by playing the role of Mr. Nice Guy. His defense was “If I were dating another woman, would I be on a video call with you until we got to my apartment and put myself in this kind of trouble?”

By 10 AM the next morning, the police were at his door. The lady he threw out at 2 AM had accused him of assault and rape while in the Uber that he booked for her. The police tried getting her to do a rape test, but she refused. The police heard his side of the story, looked at the time stamp relating to his movement, phone call records, and concluded that he had no case to answer.

When he got back to school on Monday, he was summoned to the faculty and informed that the same lady had come to level accusations against him. The school suspended his admission while they opened an investigation into the accusation. He had to submit his student ID card and other school effects and return home while the University carried out its investigation.

He ran to church to discuss with those from the Nigerian community he had met to seek help and guidance. They told him he could only pray and trust that the investigations would vindicate him.

He reached out to the lady who accused him via WhatsApp. The lady laughed (she didn’t know she was being recorded) and told him she would teach him a lesson he would never forget for being unkind to her by throwing her out of his house in the middle of the night. His girlfriend stopped picking up his calls. He turned to Jesus, trusting that the Lord would intervene and sort out his issue quickly.

On the day of his baptism, the lady showed up in church to witness it and even did a video of him getting immersed in the water. Some church members captured her on camera and showed it to him and the police as proof that the lady was the one stalking him…

The case above is one of several that have put the fear of ladies in the hearts of several young men in the United Kingdom. Julia Roberts released a movie titled “The Hunt” a few hours ago. The movie is centered around a problem that many in academia have also noticed since COVID-19. The art of conversation is being lost in humanity. Men are no longer being men, and women are no longer being women.

Gone are the days when a man could tell a lady, “I am not interested, thank you,” and expect the lady to take it gracefully. I am aware of a particular case where a young man told a young lady he was no longer interested in a relationship as politely as possible because the two of them couldn’t reason together on many issues. The lady told him, “You will pay. No man ever walked out on me before, for free. I am the one who walks out on men. Any man who dares to walk out on me will pay. She then went ahead to talk about previous lovers and how she taught them lessons of their lives for daring to walk away from a relationship with her.”

The young man didn’t take her seriously until she sent him the draft of letters she had written to his employers and brand sponsors, accusing him of “grooming her” and “having sex with her under the influence of alcohol before getting her used to him and then walking away from her after she had become addicted to him.”

It is possible and acceptable for you to love a guy and for the guy not to love you back. It is not that deep. You don’t have to ruin his life because he didn’t fall for your overtures. Nobody should be falsely accused of any crime just because of a bruised ego. Rape is no child’s play. Either proven or unproven, the accusation alone can ruin a destiny for a lifetime.

The guy accused of rape in Aberdeen is not a rapist. Not all men are capable of rape. Not all women are capable of rape, also. After a certain age and after dealing with all sorts of characters for several years, you come to a point where you can tell if someone’s story is authentic or fabricated. You develop a sixth sense for lies and untruths, or half-truths.

I have spoken with several people on the issue, and I was told the case has become too rampant in the West. The downside of it is this: young men are keeping to themselves because they don’t want to step on a banana peel. Young ladies are not being pursued with the vigor that we used to celebrate because now a lady could turn around and accuse the pursuer of stalking her.

The sensitivity of wokism has ruined the standard “Stop it, I like it” that characterized our old dating playbook. The guys are too scared to make a move because they don’t want to be accused of doing too much. The ladies are waiting for the move because it is what guarantees their desirability to the man who wants to be with them. Pastors are the ones picking up the pieces everywhere. When there are no dances, there will be no marriage. We must teach our sons and daughters to trust and dance again within the boundaries of the rules of engagement. Boys must become husbands, and ladies must become wives

PS: A lady said to me, “I am complete, but men are not. I asked her what she meant.

She said, “I have my own money, I have my own house, I have my own properties, I can buy myself a husband or a child or a semen and become a mother if I want to. So why do I need any man?”

I agreed with her. She is right. So many men also chose that path. They made their money, had children with baby mamas, and lived as perpetual bachelors. They are also right.

However, my message is directed at those who choose to be married or desire to be married. Their choice is also valid and legitimate. It is okay to want to love and be loved, to experience the music of the heart and the thirst of the soul for love. Falling in love is still one of the greatest highs the human soul can ever experience.

-GSW-