Connecting Wires

A case was brought to me. 
A woman working with a multinational 
whose husband’s business was not 
doing well. 
The man returned from the UK with 
money and bought four trucks to 
start logistics business but within 
two years a series of bad decisions 
killed his business. 
He refused to get a job. 
He continued to do pursue contracts
while trying to figure things out
The wife was working with a bank and 
later moved to a multinational. 
She was paying the rent and 
maintaining the cars. 
She had money and thought as long 
as she was footing the bills, they 
should be fine. 
The husband stopped sleeping with 
her somehow. 
She said she couldn’t say how that 
happened.
He would consider the fact that she 
had been working all day and shouldn’t 
be warming his bed at night and 
therefore restrain himself from making 
sexual advances. 
She felt since she was putting all the
 money on the table she shouldn’t be 
begging for sex 
(What else was he supposed to be doing 
with his time) and she didn’t make the 
advances. 
After some time, he started to cheat on 
her.
She told her uncle what had been 
going on and how much of an ingrate 
her husband was. 
Her uncle picked up the phone and 
called her husband's parents 
His parents called a family meeting and 
confronted him about his inability to 
provide (They had no idea because 
his wife rented a duplex and they 
both drove good cars) 
He admitted it and there was a lot 
of talk. 
He felt his wife brought shame upon 
him and decided to leave the 
marriage but he didn’t leave immediately 
because they have a daughter
He just switched off and started shopping 
for her replacement.
With the little money he got from some 
hustling, he would look for a lady that 
would respect him and call him “Daddy” 
(This emphasis is mine pls) 
and he started sleeping with such ladies. 
The wife came to me saying she was 
done with the marriage. 
The husband came to me saying he was 
done with the marriage. 
I listened to the two of them and tried 
to explain to the lady that a man does 
not instinctively think he deserves his 
wife’s body if he was not providing for 
her (Some poor mentality guys running 
on basic instinct does this but a higher 
thinker wouldn’t), he wants to claim 
his wife and impress her! 
He wants her to jump on him and come 
preparing to do wonders to his body in 
the name of saying “Thank you”. 
He doesn’t want to be with her while 
she is thinking “Just do whatever and 
get off me”. 
Being broke is psychologically draining! 
Men programmed to get off on respect 
and gratitude will express their need 
to others who will complement their
 desires! 
The wife cried bitterly! 
She said she didn’t know providing 
everything and “Lording it over him 
could make make him resent her”. 
When I spoke to him, he said 
“He was done! 
He just wanted to be free of her money 
and her life and start afresh with 
someone who wouldn’t mind that he was 
making so little.
I told the two of them to give it a year! 
This is the 19th month
They are still together. 
She is still with the multinational and 
makes majority of the money! 
But she had stopped Lording it over him 
and listens to him too. 
She also appreciates his contributions
(no matter how small or insignificant 
compared to what her money can do)
She came to see that when he buys 
stuff and feels happy with himself, 
he would hit the hammer very well for 
three or four days but when the 
euphoria of his good deed begins to 
fade off, he would be unable to knock the 
door. 
She got it. 
He was wired to perform as a right not 
as a duty! 
She began to look for small contracts 
for him to do so that he will have more 
money and do more stuff so that the 
hammer can keep knocking. 
She said she got it somehow and he 
got it too.
When couples grow to resent each other
The first instinct would be to part ways 
but a dear friend once told me 
“Your partner, the one you got married 
to and having some challenges with 
is actually the one you can make things 
work with the best)
I took that counsel to heart.

Ps: Some men will sit down and be 
milking the wife but some men just 
can’t do that. 
It belittles them and affects their 
confidence. 
Regardless of if the woman is the type 
to talk about it and prove a point with 
it or the one who provides and still 
respects them. 
We are all wired differently! 
Know your partner and work with each 
other’s strengths 

A case was brought to me. 
A woman working with a multinational 
whose husband’s business was not 
doing well. 
The man returned from the UK with 
money and bought four trucks to 
start logistics business but within 
two years a series of bad decisions 
killed his business. 
He refused to get a job. 
He continued to do pursue contracts
while trying to figure things out
The wife was working with a bank and 
later moved to a multinational. 
She was paying the rent and 
maintaining the cars. 
She had money and thought as long 
as she was footing the bills, they 
should be fine. 
The husband stopped sleeping with 
her somehow. 
She said she couldn’t say how that 
happened.
He would consider the fact that she 
had been working all day and shouldn’t 
be warming his bed at night and 
therefore restrain himself from making 
sexual advances. 
She felt since she was putting all the
 money on the table she shouldn’t be 
begging for sex 
(What else was he supposed to be doing 
with his time) and she didn’t make the 
advances. 
After some time, he started to cheat on 
her.
She told her uncle what had been 
going on and how much of an ingrate 
her husband was. 
Her uncle picked up the phone and 
called her husband's parents 
His parents called a family meeting and 
confronted him about his inability to 
provide (They had no idea because 
his wife rented a duplex and they 
both drove good cars) 
He admitted it and there was a lot 
of talk. 
He felt his wife brought shame upon 
him and decided to leave the 
marriage but he didn’t leave immediately 
because they have a daughter
He just switched off and started shopping 
for her replacement.
With the little money he got from some 
hustling, he would look for a lady that 
would respect him and call him “Daddy” 
(This emphasis is mine pls) 
and he started sleeping with such ladies. 
The wife came to me saying she was 
done with the marriage. 
The husband came to me saying he was 
done with the marriage. 
I listened to the two of them and tried 
to explain to the lady that a man does 
not instinctively think he deserves his 
wife’s body if he was not providing for 
her (Some poor mentality guys running 
on basic instinct does this but a higher 
thinker wouldn’t), he wants to claim 
his wife and impress her! 
He wants her to jump on him and come 
preparing to do wonders to his body in 
the name of saying “Thank you”. 
He doesn’t want to be with her while 
she is thinking “Just do whatever and 
get off me”. 
Being broke is psychologically draining! 
Men programmed to get off on respect 
and gratitude will express their need 
to others who will complement their
 desires! 
The wife cried bitterly! 
She said she didn’t know providing 
everything and “Lording it over him 
could make make him resent her”. 
When I spoke to him, he said 
“He was done! 
He just wanted to be free of her money 
and her life and start afresh with 
someone who wouldn’t mind that he was 
making so little.
I told the two of them to give it a year! 
This is the 19th month
They are still together. 
She is still with the multinational and 
makes majority of the money! 
But she had stopped Lording it over him 
and listens to him too. 
She also appreciates his contributions
(no matter how small or insignificant 
compared to what her money can do)
She came to see that when he buys 
stuff and feels happy with himself, 
he would hit the hammer very well for 
three or four days but when the 
euphoria of his good deed begins to 
fade off, he would be unable to knock the 
door. 
She got it. 
He was wired to perform as a right not 
as a duty! 
She began to look for small contracts 
for him to do so that he will have more 
money and do more stuff so that the 
hammer can keep knocking. 
She said she got it somehow and he 
got it too.
When couples grow to resent each other
The first instinct would be to part ways 
but a dear friend once told me 
“Your partner, the one you got married 
to and having some challenges with 
is actually the one you can make things 
work with the best)
I took that counsel to heart.

Ps: Some men will sit down and be 
milking the wife but some men just 
can’t do that. 
It belittles them and affects their 
confidence. 
Regardless of if the woman is the type 
to talk about it and prove a point with 
it or the one who provides and still 
respects them. 
We are all wired differently! 
Know your partner and work with each 
other’s strengths