Love Binder

The first time he encountered them
He was walking on the highway
Dressed in a suit!
The choice of clothes was quite frankly 
unusual
He is not really a "suit" person 
And if he was going to wear a suit, he 
wouldn't wear that shade of colour
Purple! A purple suit
A purple suit, black waistcoat, cream coloured
shirt and a black tie
He didn't quite get the colour of the pair
of shoes, he was wearing
He looked like a performer, like a magician
But it was a dream!
He was very much aware of that
The pictures were hazy, foggy and things were
too shaky, like a studio effect imposition
One of them approached him from afar
holding a pair of belt
She was female, in her 80s
"I brought you a black belt, why would you dress
up so nicely without wearing a belt"
She said
He smiled!
He didn't quite recognize her at first!
He stretched his hand to collect the belt
Suddenly, the belt moved all on its own
It turned into a snake!
Naturally, he took a step backwards
"Take the belt, the elderly woman said,
take your belt and wear it"
He smiled and walked away
He had grown beyond that level
He couldn't be persuaded or commanded to
do anything in the spirit realm
There was a time he would have gullibly obeyed
any order or plea in a dream
But not any more!
He just walked on, leaving the elderly woman
and her snake belt behind!
When he woke up from the dream, he dismissed it
He understood that dreams are mental images
Sometimes they have spiritual connotations
But only a fool would build his spiritual reality
upon dreams
There was nowhere in the new testament where
dreams are part of the gifts the Lord Jesus gave
the church
Anybody in the world can dream
It is a gift of the carnal spirit in man to 
the flesh
For the "Born Again" Christian, the Holy Spirit
and the Word of God are the keys to heavenly
reality!
When he got to the office the next day
He met them waiting for him at the reception
The three generations!
The elderly woman she saw in her dream
Her daughter and her granddaughter
The receptionist informed him they were
waiting to see him!
He settled in and met with them in the conference
room
The elderly woman was a widow, she was a mother
of six children
Three boys and three girls
All her sons had been married at least twice
All her daughters had lost their husbands to
death at least once
Her first daughter had three children
One boy and two girls
The boy is married but the wife had been 
unable to conceive since they had their 
daughter who is five years old
One of the girls is married with three children
two boys and a girl
Her marriage was about to break up
The last granddaughter was 36 years old, she
was a medical doctor but she had never had a
relationship of note all her life!
This was why they came to see him for prayers
at the insistence of the married granddaughter
She had read the stories
She had come to believe in the power of the
Holy Spirit
Though they were Christians, their denomination
is not gung-ho about the Holy Spirit
But her mother and grandmother had no objections
to visiting pastors and prophets to do spiritual
check-ups once in a while
They had taken her to other places in the past
Places that were not even Christian
in the name of seeking a solution to problems
When she couldn't get a husband on time
Her mother took her to a "church" where she
was bathed in the river and given all sorts
of fetish things in the name of warding off a 
spirit husband and helping her to secure her
marital destiny!
She counted those days as seasons of ignorance
but she was determined to solve the puzzle
of separations, death of spouses and divorce
in her family!
She loved her husband and her husband loved
her!
They have three beautiful children
her husband was as faithful as a ruler
Yet, her marriage was falling apart 
because she kept misbehaving everyday
it was as if there was a spirit of dissatisfaction
at work in her life
It was as if she was determined to end 
up alone
her mother and grandmother!
She knew she needed help and so do they!
She introduced them to him and explained
why they came
He listened to them!
Her grandmother spoke first
She said her husband died when she was 
fifty-six
He left her with a landed property
It was the property she used to train her 
children
in school and they were all doing well
Her mother spoke afterwards
She said she was the first daughter of the 
elderly woman
She said she lost her husband at the age of 
fifty-five
They had three children
Then she spoke!
She said she was the first granddaughter of the
elderly woman
She was thirty-five years old, had been married
for seven years but had always felt uneasy in her
marriage
Her husband was a good man but she just wasn't
satisfied or happy in the marriage
She didn't know why she was ao unsettled and
felt she was better off alone
She had done counselling, prayed, fasted tried
everything
It was as if there was this omen!
As if there was this destiny she signed up for
To lose her husband to death or divorce
Of all the grandchildren. she was the only one
with a semblance of a good marriage
Her brother was married and had a daughter
but he was always with other women
because his wife was always sick and the
marriage was not working out
Her younger sister couldn't even get a husband
And she was dissatisfied with her marriage
in spite of everything her husband has done
for her!
By the time she was through with her story
The three of them were in tears!
They had a very strong emotional connection
He sensed that and realised he had to be careful!
People seek help but not the truth
Families with a very strong emotional attachment
especially cannot see the truth even if it is
wearing a red suit on a white street!
He said "Let us pray"
They had prayed before the discussion started
He knew what to say but he didn't quite
know how to say it!
He prayed! He said "Holy Spirit please bring the
truth to us in honey, set us free by the wisdom
and love in your truth! For we have prayed in
Jesus name!"
Then he turned to the elderly woman an said
"Mama, you have something to tell us?"
The elderly woman smiled and said "My Son,
i wanted to explain to my daughters from home
but they wouldn't get it!
I am happy you are here
You will understand and perhaps you will help
me explain it better to them!
I got married at the age of eighteen
In those days women were not regarded as anything
but properties
Especially here in Africa!
My grandmother loved me so much
The very day I got married, she made a special
waist bead for me, she called it the love binder
The waist bead was to help me in my marriage
Men are very restless beings
When they marry a woman that gives them rest
they will use that rest to chase other women
If their wife does not give them rest, they will
use the troublesome nature of their wife to
chase other women
The waist bead was a spiritual covering
I wore the bead while bearing all my children
And they are supposed to be covered by the
spirit of the waist bead in their marriages
unless the men and women they are meeting with
have a contrary spirit or intention
When the intention or heart of the spouse is
not right to us, the bead will chase them away
or choke them to death!
When my husband felt I was getting old
and started looking for a second wife
he died!
My daughter's husband cheated on her
He died a few months later!
perhaps the reason my granddaughter is not
satisfied with her marriage was because
her husband would eventually cheat and die
or the bead didn't find them compatible!"
He nodded!
"Where is the bead now?" He asked 
"It got destroyed several years ago" 
The elderly woman replied
He nodded!
The women in your family are attracted to
handsome men who are very "looks" conscious
right? He asked
"The grandmother and mother nodded"
But the daughter said "Yes those were the sort
of men I was attracted to but I didn't marry a
man like that! I married quite the opposite!
I married a pastor whose lifestyle is 
very simple!
This is why I expected a different outcome,
I don't want a broken home but I am seriously
unsettled in my marriage!
I want this feeling to go away!
Please help me!
He said "If I pray with you, the yoke 
will break
but so will the strong emotional connection
you have with your mother and grandmother!
You wouldn't hate them but you will no longer
feel the strong pull homewards as you feel now!
She looked at him, puzzled
"How did you know I feel a strong pull 
homewards?" She aked
"You are unsettled in your husband's house
because your mind is with your mother and
grandmother! You feel like returning to your
parent's house with all the harvests you have
gotten abroad which is your husband's house
but you cannot do this unless your husband
is dead or you guys are divorced!
The unusual attachment you have for each
other as a family is the reason you find your
 marriage to be a struggle 
Nobody can serve two masters!
Marriage is supposed to be a leaving a 
cleaving
But you guys can neither leave nor cleave!
"Can't you pray so that my husband will
cleave with my family? Must I leave home?
I mean, I get what you are saying but I don't
want to have to pick between my marriage
and my family! Can't I have both?
"But you do have both at the moment and
yet you are not satisfied" He replied
The waist bead your grandmother talked about
was not ordinary
It is a binder and it had bound your family
together to a common destiny
This is the pattern you saw and was 
determined to break
When you break a pattern, you create a new
reality!
Are you willing to create a new reality?
She looked at him, she looked at her mother
and grandmother!
She shook her head!
She said she will go home and pray about it!
They took their leave
He smiled and walked them to the door!
The next morning, she was back by 9AM
"I couldn't choose the presence of my mother
and grandma!
They would have been very disappointed!
I have made my choice
I choose my husband and family!
Can you help me now or is it too late?
He prayed with her
She got filled with the Holy Spirit and
returned home full of joy and peace!

PS: This event happened in Lagos, 2017
She is still happily married and now 
attends
a pentecostal church with her family
She said she didn't know how the strong 
connection to her family waned
It is still there but it was not as 
strong as it once was
She no longer felt compelled to go to her
parents house every weekend!
She no longer took a month holiday from her
marriage to spend some time with her mother
and grandmother
She loves her husband and children more
and feels fulfilled and satisfied with 
her home!
The internal struggle was over!

Every shade of love that is not centred 
on Christ
or channelled through Christ is not 
true love!
He is AGAPE, selfless and perfect
When the demonic is introduced to love,
it destroys love!
Once It becomes manipulative, obsessive, 
coercive and domineering, love becomes 
a struggle!
Let us all examine the source of our 
love today
Let us make adjustments
If it is fearful, insecure, anxious, fetish 
and manipulated
it is not love 
It is a bondage that must be broken!