The Fresh Start

We swore an oath never to get married
It wasn't a decision we arrived at cheaply
It wasn't a decision made by teenagers carried
away by the whims of the moment
We were both graduates and had been
lovers for six years!
Yes we were lesbians
Neither of us looked masculine or any of
that nonsense bloke and babe thing
We were both beautiful ladies who discovered
what idleness and curiosity can produce as
 roommates!
She had been exposed to it as a young girl!
She said some auties who rented a room in
her father's compound when she was a
child indulged and let her watch
So she was the one that carried the seed
I was just a curious tag along at first
Then it became much more than that
She became territorial, domineering
and excessively jealous whenever there
was a hint of interest in me by any guy!
It was all sweet at first, I remember telling
her several times that whatever we were
doing was a mere distraction!
Nothing concrete can come out of it!
She would always nod in understanding
and tell me she was just looking out for
my interest because she loved me
We would see only the bad endings of
heterosexual relationships and console
each other that happy marriages are 
a product of insincerity, unfaithfulness,
lies, abuse and patriarchy
When we graduated, she was the first
to get a job
We had served and I was living with
my parents at the time
I remember returning home from the
market one Saturday afternoon and
meeting her at home with my mother
She had come to convince my parents
to let me stay with her while I look for
a job!
She came bearing a lot of gifts and money
Even though my parents had always 
insisted that I will live under their roof
until I got married, they caved!
But something had changed within me
I still wanted to be with her but being
without her for some time had shaken me
free of that "I don't want to marry" nonsense
I wanted the freedom to explore my options
but I didn't really say this out loud
I only insinuated it and talked around it
We became roommates again!
I know she was in it for the sex and companionship
But I was in it because I was bored
I needed a breather from my parents
and I also need the room to look for a job!
She was already working at a PR firm
She tried to get me employed at the
firm but I failed their test
Eventually, I got a job with an investment
bank
It was a good job but it came with targets
I was expected to bring in a certain amount
every quarter
She was of great help here
Making calls and softening the ground for
me with some of their rich clients who
entrusted me with their money
She was 28 years old by this time and 
I was 26 years old
I met Ferdinand, a hardworking 3D animator
He was sweet and very attentive
He knew immediately he saw us together
that we were more than roommates
He had seen into the shadows
before and knew the obvious signs
The relationship died a natural death
Then I met Akin, a recent returnee from
the USA with a lot of loose cash 
He invested heavily with me after we
started having sex
My roommate found out about the sex
and all hell broke loose
She acted as if she had an exclusive right
to me
It was way beyond child's play
My roommate smashed the flatscreen TV,
broke all the plates, tore all the pictures
we took together and destroyed both our
laptops because I had betrayed her!
I knew she had a mental problem after that!
I moved in with my boyfriend
I didn't hear from her for several months
Myself and my guy started talking marriage
The talk got very serious 
He sponsored my trip to Dubai to pick
out locations and make arrangements
I was gone for two weeks
When I returned home, i found her with my
boyfriend, on our bed! 
My boyfriend was asleep
She had staged the scene for
my arrival
I knew she was not interested in him
I was her target!
She had become an irritating shadow
I didn't say a word
I just left the room, hoping she would
pack her bag and leave
She didn't
I stayed in a hotel for two weeks
Called my boyfriend every day to get
rid of her
He tried but she had a hold on him
somehow
Eventually, I decided he was too gullible!
What if we had gotten married?
Was that how he would be taken over
by a strange woman?
I walked away from the relationship
By this time my mother had started doing
what mothers do
Running around looking for a solution
Most of the people she met saw visions
and all
But they were all fake
Nobody told her the truth about my
bi-sexual way of life and how it is the
cause of all the issues!
One night I got a call from her
She was at the police station
She and Fardinand had a bitter fight
He was in the hospital and she had been
arrested
I know it served her right but I couldn't 
leave her there
I went to the station to bail her
She had minor injuries too
I took her home afterwards
She cried and apologised
She said it was all because she loved me
She reached out to me in the middle of
her tears of agony
My resistance melted
We wore the diving gear and jumped
into the ocean
I had sworn never to go back to that
reality
But there I was a victim of my own foolishness
She took it as a win and I stayed with her
for three months
I left when she started talking about
relocating abroad together and living
together forever!
Mehn! I couldn't even bear that reasoning
What she wanted out of life was obviously
not what I wanted
I wanted to get married and have children
Why should she impose what she wanted
out of life on me
I told her as much
She went mad and I ran!
That was when I met Albert, somewhere 
in Lekki
He was 11 years older than I was and was
divorced
We were together for four months
until we missed death by a whisker on
night as we were returning to his house
from the night club!
Someone shot right at his car
The bullet missed him physically
But he became a jelly afterwards
He was convinced it had something to
do with me
He said he got a phone call to ditch me
or die
I know only one person desperate enough
and capable of pulling a stunt like that!
I went home and took stock of my life
I realised I owed myself a change of scene
I needed to leave the lifestyle of risk, speed
and adventure alone
I was too old to be wearing skimpy clothes
just to gain entrance into clubs 
I resigned from my job and rented an 
apartment on the mainland
I had some money and decided to go into
event planning business
The topsy turvy lifestyle was over for me!
But even though I had left the physical
realities of that lifestyle behind
I found myself overtaken by fear
I was always scared she was lurking
somewhere, monitoring my life and
waiting for my day of joy
I waited for two whole years before
venturing into a relationship
I was 34 years old and I was very lonely
I reached out to the Brother in Jeans 
and T-shirt for prayers
We met
He counselled me it wouldn't be a fresh
start without giving my life to Jesus
He said "A fresh start is not a change of
job, spouse, friends, name or country!
If Jesus is not the Lord of your life, it is
still the old life with a different blend of
chaotic realities! It still won't work"
So I gave my life to Christ, I lifted up my
hands and surrendered all!
He laid hands on me to baptize me with
the Holy Spirit
I cannot explain what happened exactly
I found myself on the ground
Slithering and hissing like a snake
I tried very hard to stop it
To control myself
But I couldn't 
WhenI was done, I felt light
Then I was filled with the Holy Spirit
I cannot fully explain what changed in my
life after that day
I stopped having to use pills to sleep
The tossing and turning was gone
I started losing weight and becoming 
more beautiful
I had rest in my heart
There was something that used to crawl or walk 
all over my insides
It was gone
I had joy and springs in my feet
I even forgot about my roommate
She just faded into the background with 
all her troubles
Weeks later I met another guy
Right as I was parking my car at Ikeja mall
He parked beside my car and said 
"Hi, I have been waiting for you"
At first, I didn't know he was talking to me
He walked closer and said he saw me driving
off the previous day
He asked one of the security guys about me
and was told I had an outlet at the mall
and often came in daily at about 11 am
So he came early and waited in the car
until I arrived!
I found it very flattering
We had breakfast that morning
He was 39 years old
He dealt in sports accessories and had 
business dealings in Taiwan, Japan, 
Thailand, China and Dubai
He had never been married but 
was a father of two!
Within six months, we were talking 
marriage
Then I received a text message
"We had a covenant never to get
married! An Oathbreaker dies
like a dog! He will die within seven
days and If he somehow survives it,
you will be dead within 40 days"
WOW!
I somehow wasn't shaken
I didn't know where the confidence
came from
I replied to the same number
"You have written your own
funeral notice"
Then I called the Brother in Jeans and
T-shirt, I told him everything that 
happened!
He congratulated me!
He said "It is done"
I believed him!
Three days later my roommate went to
the beach with some friends
They said some White garment prophets
approached them and started prophesying
They all walked away but my friend
was engrossed in it
She followed them and eventually
moved in with one of them
I got married on the 27th of July, 2016
The marriage is blessed with two
children!

PS: How sordid is your past?
It doesn't have to follow you like a
shadow or drag you down
You can always walk away
Embrace a fresh start and change your
reality
You have a right to change the reality
you are walking in
You have a right to insist on the best!
Only Jesus guarantees this
Sheer will and determination can help
but only as far as you are concerned
When external factors are weighed in
You will be at a disadvantage!
Remember his stripes, remember his blood
Come to Jesus today!