The first time he saw a tadpole was when
he was about four years old.
He was walking home from church with
his older siblings; he was the last child of
They got to a wooden bridge that was erected
across a small river.
That was where he saw those little black things
clustered together close to the riverbank.
His elder brother, who was just seven years at
the time, shouted, "See fish! See fish!”
thereby causing everyone to look.
His elder brother picked a stone and threw
it into the river; the clustered things scattered.
Someone walking by said,
"Those are not fish, those are tadpoles"
He didn't understand what the person
meant at the time.
To his mind, they looked like little fishes.
He never forgot the incidence as he grew older;
It just stuck with him.
He remembered writing a poem about it in
his journal when he was thirteen.
He also told the story to his first-ever babe
when he was sixteen.
The girl he used to fool around with at the
time was not really his "babe" like that.
She used to their compound every evening
bearing a bucket she used to fetch water.
He would see her off and they would talk or
walk in silence.
He liked being with her but he didn't know
what to say to her.
She invited him to her sixteenth birthday party;
It was a small party.
Somehow they were sitting beside each other
when everything went dark.
She quickly took his hand and guided it to
She placed her hand on his as she encouraged
him to fondle and squeeze.
It was his first-ever exposure to the female
anatomy beyond the novels he read voraciously.
By the time someone scrambled to put on the
lantern and the candle, he had discovered
that her breast had a remote control over
his own body.
The only thing he didn't do was bark like
Of course, somebody older than him
eventually ended up with his babe.
He was just a few months older than her
and was a novice at these things.
His babe was far more mature and experienced.
She threw him all the invitations but he
simply wasn't smart enough to
Later in life, he learned that ladies mature
faster than are their male counterparts.
They learned the saving culture first;
They learned the planning culture first;
They learn and master multi-tasking first.
They learn diplomacy and human relations first.
They compete better and they actually pick
the person they desire
to be with while letting the person assume
he picked them.
It was weird but true so it was not a surprise
to him when a beautiful
damsel gummed herself to him when he was
in 100 level.
She was extremely pretty and could have done
much better than him.
All he had to offer was his brains;
He was very intelligent.
He was the academic alpha, the King of the rest.
He didn't fool himself into thinking that she
She actually let it slip that her father promised
her he would sponsor her for her masters
abroad if she made at least a Second class
He knew she attached herself to him for the
grades; It was indirectly stated to him
But they were human.
They studied, ate, talked, walked, and sat
together in the chapel.
A lot of people assume they were dating.
She told other guys trying to be with her
that he was her man, just to fend them off.
She also discouraged other ladies from
coming after him.
Whenever he was broke and distracted,
she would meet his needs.
She chose him wisely.
Their grades soared together.
He was on 4.88 CGPA and she was on 4.75CGPA.
They both rocked their department academically
Sometime around their second year together,
he got the confidence to start touching her.
Whenever they were reading and things
began to drag he would reach for her
breasts and she would snuggle into him.
All they had was each other.
He never asked her out,
never bought flowers, cards or stuff like that,
never told her "I love you" but by the third year,
they were kissing and getting bolder with their
She never protested, not even once.
Eventually, they started having sex towards
the end of their final year together.
He didn't know how it happened but he fell
in love with her. He even assumed that by
what they were doing together and the history
between them, he was her boyfriend.
She never denied nor rebuffed him.
She allowed him to immerse himself in his
She benefitted tremendously from it.
He helped her with her academic work
and even did seventy-five percent of her
They both studied Physics and Solar Science.
He developed a solar-powered street and
traffic light for her and developed a
solar-powered mobile charger for himself.
They both got A's in their projects.
He believed their story was set in the stars -
The "So and So Super couple."
They got a lot of awards on Campus in
their final year;
"Best couple", "Together forever",
"Campus Model Couple"
The only thing their colleagues couldn't
do was print Invitation Cards and sponsor
It was the greatest relationship anybody
could have asked for.
It was however also a lie.
Everybody including him was fooled.
As soon as they graduated, she walked
She didn't give him a reason neither did
she bother to explain !
They had their convoction, they ate,
took pictures and that was it!
She stopped picking his calls and acted
as if he was a complete stranger to her.
The first time he went to see her,
she greeted him and disappeared into
He waited for almost three hours!
Her mother had to tell him she was tired
and had gone to sleep before he left.
She never called to explain, never said a word.
The second time, she was driving out of
\her father's house while he was driving
into her street.
She saw him and drove off!
He got the message.
They were posted for NYSC.
He sent her a message that she had been
posted to Benue State but she didn't respond.
She travelled to the UK for her Masters.
He moved on after that.
It was obvious he wasn't wanted.
It was a very painful experience for him.
She acted like "The Terminator" -
Emotionless and unmoved in any way.
She just walked away and left him in a
heap of pain and agony.
It was an ice-cold departure!
He picked himself up.
He got a job with an engineering firm after
his service year and proceeded to build a life.
He had always desired to study abroad too
so he began to study towards that.
He met a lot of ladies but his heart
was sore and weary.
He kept his distance and faced his life.
Things began to pan out.
His company sent him to China twice
for an exhibition.
He was also sent to India once.
He met a friend who introduced him to a
multinational company in Malaysia.
He joined them in 2013 at the age of 25.
He worked with them for two years
before he was transferred to their UK
office in 2015. He had started earning big in
foreign currency by this time.
He was also the head of a research team
with a lot of money at his disposal for
He lived in a highbrow area of the UK and
was considered a high-value individual.
The bulk of his work was to showcase his
company's inventions at exhibitions all over
the world and bring in investors.
He knew his onions and he thrived.
When he was twenty-eight, he took his family -
Parents and four siblings - for a holiday in Dubai.
That was when his mother opened the
chapter on marriage again.
To them, God had blessed him so much
and he needed to settle down and have a
family of his own.
He had thought about it too but he was in
the air almost half of the year due to the
nature of his job.
Wherever technology was being exhibited or
showcased, he had to be there!
How then do you get to have a stable
relationship that way?
He met a lady soon after; She was an air
It was a fling that lasted for six months as
their work schedules were too demanding.
In 2018, he got a visit from a headhunter.
A mobile phone company was setting up
and they needed him to head their
marketing and research team.
It was a more stable job.
He would be travelling less and would spend
most of his time in the UK.
He took the job.
Stability came and marriage became a
very strong possibility.
He bought a house and threw a house-warming
Many Nigerian ladies came around.
Most of them were very single and willing.
Somehow his former girlfriend heard and
She came with another lady.
He was very happy to see her.
They sat down and talked as if there was
never a break between them.
Life had happened and everybody had moved on.
She was working with a digital technology outfit.
She was doing well for herself.
She was still single and stunning.
The lady she came with was a Ph.D. student
who just arrived the UK from Nigeria and
was still settling down
He called the lady the next day and they
went out for drinks the following week.
He learned that they were not really "friends"
like he had assumed.
They met on the day of the party through
a mutual friend who was another the lady's
The roommate was going out on a date and
planned to invite the guy over to the room
The lady needed a place to go so as to give
her roommate the space she needed.
Her roommate made some calls and was
told about the party.
The lady was picked up by his ex the following
He connected with the lady.
They had a second date a few days later.
The lady, out of courtesy, told his who then
"What are you doing?" His ex asked him
He told his ex he didn't understand the
She told him they had to see.
She went to his house the next day.
His ex was at her calculative best- dressed
in an outrageously seductive gown.
As soon as he opened the door, she
was in his arms, nibbling at his ears and
awakening sleeping volcanoes!
It was a gift he couldn't say NO to!
His ex was the only lady he had ever slept
with and their relationship ended in a way
that left him without any closure.
He slept with her.
His ex spent the whole night with him.
When he woke up the next morning,
she was gone
Later that evening, he called the lady
again and they went for their third date.
He really liked the lady.
She was a 29-year-old mathematics guru
who made him feel safe and secure.
She was very clear and articulate.
She was also very considerate and homely.
He knew where he belonged with her.
He would be the man, she would be the
Together, they would both have a level of
She wanted a happy, safe and peaceful
home. She wasn't manipulative or calculative;
She was just a girl seating across the table
from a boy, happy to love and be loved.
He liked her a lot.
He told his mother about the lady.
His mother told his father.
They told him to send her name
so they could pray and make investigations.
He gladly did so.
He didn't hear from his ex-"girlfriend" for a
week only for her to show up at his office
one Friday evening.
She told him she wanted to take him out.
She told him about her plans for the future
- Marriage, two children, setting up a school
in Nigeria and all.
His ex had her life planned out.
Any man who would come into her life
would have to just fit in for the dream
to be complete.
His ex was as focused, determined and
calculative as she had always been
He admired her for it but he had learned
He wasn't going to be an "assumed landlord"
in somebody else's mansion.
He wanted to build a life with someone
and not be a part of an already built edifice.
He wished her well and told her he had to go.
She was shocked.
She said "What did I do wrong?
I was just sharing our vision with you.
If you don't like something I said,
I will take it back?
You have suddenly become so sensitive!
I was with you last week and you didn't
It was as if my visit was just for myself.
You have changed, you used to be more
He told her she did nothing wrong.
He just didn't want to waste her time as
he had fallen in love with another person
and wedding plans had commenced.
It would be wrong of him to stay and
discuss "dreams" and the future with her.
He wished her well then took a taxi home.
His mother called him with the good news -
The bride's family was a good one and the
marriage would be a blissful one.
He called the lady and invited her over.
She arrived at his house at 11 pm.
He told her everything about his ex and
how things ended. He wanted her to
know so that she can make an informed
decision about him regarding courtship
He told her about his parents and the
She accepted his proposal.
Ps: They got married in December 2019,
the event took place in Lagos, Nigeria!
He said he knew a tadpole can never be a fish.
His ex was built the way she was for a reason
but he would be foolish to get involved with
somebody whose agenda was just to use
him to fulfill her own life goals!