Greener Pasture

The first time he saw someone light up 
a room with joy was the day he saw his 
Father return home from the German 
Embassy with his German visa 
The bug of the greener pasture had bit 
his father about two years before then 
and he was convinced he couldn't make 
it in life unless he traveled abroad 
That day as his father hugged his mother, 
he asked his mother what traveling abroad 
means! 
His mother used a family in the church as 
example She said "We will be like the 
Jinadus, you know their daddy is a sailor 
and he often travels for a long time only to
come back an spend some time with his 
household and then return... 
The explanation was sufficient for him, 
the Jinadus were rich 
Mrs Jinadu drove the latest cars and the 
children always looked as if they stepped 
out of the TV every time he saw them 
His father traveled in June the plan was 
to give him three months to settle down 
and get a job, his father was not a stranger 
to Germany because he had his second 
degree there 
He was only going back for his masters after 
many years of lecturing at a state university 
He left on a Tuesday and was supposed to
call one of their neighbours latest by 
Wednesday night 
He didn't call 
It was as if he simply fell off the face of the 
earth 
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months 
Nobody heard a thing 
Not a word! 
By December their rent was due, the landlord 
was patient for three months before throwing 
them on the street 
They moved into an uncompleted building 
When his grandfather came visiting and saw 
how they were living like street urchins, he 
felt his son had died and everybody was 
keeping the truth away from him 
He kept saying "How can my son be alive 
and his family be living like this" 
They tried to assure grandpa that it takes 
time for immigrants to settle down abroad 
sometimes and that he shouldn't worry, 
but when a year went by and there was 
no improvement, grandpa suddenly fell ill 
and died with the name of his son on his 
lips!
After two years of planting cassava and 
maize by the roadside and draining swamps 
for frogs to feed on, the church came to 
their rescue 
The church rented a three-bedroom flat 
for them and gave their mother a job as 
the assistant sexton 
(It was an excuse to be able to give her
some money every month) 
His oldest sister also gained admission 
into the university and was sponsored by 
the church 
In the year 2000, his older sister went on 
the internet to search for their father and 
she found him 
He was living in America with a fine 
American wife and children
All she did was feed his name to the internet, 
he was unmistakable 
She saw his email address and wrote him a 
mail 
He responded by telling her to keep their 
relationship a secret because he didn't tell 
his American wife he was previously married 
with children 
He also started sending her money 
She didn't tell anybody until his immediate 
elder sister went to visit her on campus 
and stumbled across the printed mails 
She took the mails straight to their mother 
Their mother was at a loss for words 
How could her own first daughter betray 
her so? 
How could she?
Her oldest sister explained that she didn't
know what to do when she was told it 
would ruin his life if his secret came out 
She told them about the money he had 
been sending her every month which 
had run into hundreds of thousands 
She said she couldn't spend it because 
she knew it would draw suspicion, so she 
just kept it 
The money hastened their mother's forgiveness 
of his oldest sister 
The family had found a lifeline 
Their oldest sister continued to relate with 
their father and through her they got 
enough money for their school fees and 
their welfare
They all graduated from the university and 
got good jobs 
His sisters got married 
The weddings were sponsored by his father 
but his father never for once made mention 
of their mother or even tried to pretend as 
if she existed 
He saw his mother pinning for him and hoping 
he would dignify her by a gesture, any gesture! 
His father didn't 
He saw his mother's hidden tears and felt her 
pains 
He hated his father for being so unreasonable 
and callous 
Couldn't he try to explain or send her a mail 
saying "Sorry?" 
But his mother kept her head high and didn't 
say one bad word about their father in the 
year 2010, twenty years after his father left 
him as a ten-year-old boy, he started 
preparing for his wedding 
Being his father's only son 
(The American wife had two girls) 
His father decided to grace the occasion! 
He wanted to play the groom's father's role! 
He was told when to pick his father at the 
airport He got to the airport and saw his 
father but his father did not recognize him 
It was ironic 
He watched as his father called his sister 
frantically 
His sister kept calling and sending him 
messages but he didnt pick
He just stood there, right beside his father 
and wondered why his father did not 
perceive his own gene 
Eventually his sister arrived at the airport 
and saw both of them standing beside 
each other like total strangers 
His sister knew instinctively that he was 
just lashing out 
She said "Ha Daddy, this is your son standing 
right next to you and Son this is your father 
standing right next to you, I should have sent 
you guys pictures but i assumed you will 
recognize each other 
His father laughed and hugged him 
He hated his father the more for the hug 
and laughter
When they got home his sister called him 
aside and begged him 
She said "God told us to obey and honour 
our parents, whatever was between 
Daddy and Mummy is not your problem! 
I know you had issues with his behaviour 
but you must forgive him" 
Her words made him cry 
Forgiveness was hard
The wedding was a success 
His mother behaved herself perfectly well, 
she had assured him that she was not the 
type of mother who would poop all over 
her son's day of joy 
After the wedding the extended family called 
a meeting to broker peace between his father 
and mother 
His mother said there was nothing to forgive 
because God had vindicated her 
Their father said he did what he did because 
he wanted to get citizenship papers 
It was a clumsy meeting 
Nothing was stated 
He felt his mother should have asked for a 
divorce so that she can move on 
She didn't
It's been ten years since he got married 
All the children and grandchildren are 
doing well 
His Father's American wife met another 
man and divorced him 
His mother was alone 
His Father was alone 
The children want to see them reconcile and 
live together but his mother said NO
She said "forgiveness" was all that was
required of her by God not "forgiveness
and foolishness"

PS: I have seen many families torn to 
shreds by this "There is nothing in Nigeria,
I must travel abroad to make it foolishness"
I have never seen one person who made
it abroad who couldn't have made it at home!
The most appalling thing was how "money"
tend to be at the root of every relationship
and emotional engagement
Being a nurse or a doctor suddenly became
a "criteria" for marriage
And having "papers" took the place of genuine
emotional involvement
So many families have been torn apart 
by the "I must do what it takes to have
papers mindset"
In almost every case, this arrangement leads
to long term sorrow for both all
It is usually never worth it
May the Lord grant us wisdom