Letters from Ghana II

Dear Wife,

I saw this email and I was shocked.

First, I thank God for your job and all the places it has taken you every day.

It is a good job, but we have been married for 10 years, and you have developed a pattern of complaining about everything at that office.

While it is true that the company had been unfair to you in their policies and decision-making, it is also true that the company is not your source. God is!

When I was working at the advertising agency, I brought home certain reports once in a while. I made sure you were carried along as things evolved but I am not one to complain all the time.

I dealt with issues, and until the last day when I walked out of that office, I was in control of my own destiny by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I was not given a spirit of "victim" or allowed to hand over the reins of my destiny to any organization. With my own mouth I built my reality and if anybody can testify that this works wonders, it is me.

You have come to see the result and they were undeniable.

2)  I am very impatient with "the same story syndrome" when I know you can do something about it and change it.

You can work with a company and still hold the reins of control of your own career by "not complaining" or "playing victim" but by plotting your exit strategy and working towards it by consciously confessing and planning towards that.

This was what I told you several times.

You ignored it.

This was what I told many others (it was what worked for me), and they came back rejoicing.

So I know you don't want things to change; all you want is for the organization to give you a car and rub you on the head, but even that I know will not satisfy you.

Remember when you craved an award so badly that it was always sinking season when you didn't get it?

Glory be to God, you now have awards.

Did you notice how fleeting the satisfaction was?

It was as if they didn't matter after you got them despite the fact that you were celebrated everywhere and made the news.

You were back to your default of "they prefer another" soon afterward.

The second thing here is very simple.

My ministry is a private project I am running.

I am not running it like other people run their thing.

I run it as I desire because it is my project.

I have as of yesterday, opened a Canadian online branch and the Ghanaian online branch because we were having timing issues.

I only do things as led by the Holy Spirit.

I don't have career or ministry advisers, and I don't take counsel from people.

When I told you several times after I started out that all the hard work and online ministrations would only last for a while until I finished training people, you insulted me all the way.

You dogged me daily, dragging me all over.

Today, things are more organized as God has raised a formidable team for me from all over the world but you have destroyed the opportunity to be supportive and caring about my future by your selfishness.

This ought to be the time I will say "thank you" for bearing with me while the project went through its teething stages and I got things in shape, but truth be told, you made the last 18 months hell for me despite the fact that this project was a blessing to the world and to you and I in so many ways.

Your taunts and insults are still ringing aloud in my ears.

You burnt everything down!

As usual, "You are temperamental," right?

It always blocks you from seeing tomorrow and making allowance for it.

That's fine

I am not offended

However, you expect me to just forget all the insults and become romantic because I have no feelings.

I am made of wood and iron.

I, your husband who you once called "a mistake", "A man without drive", "A deadweight", "A lucid Dreamer", "A good for nothing apart from argument partner"

Somehow, you expect me to take all the insults and tauntings and convert them to warm cozy feelings leading to kisses and giving you head and having earth-shattering sex.

Didn't you tell me, just last week, that if I didn't take your suggestions on tithing and taxing my members to death, I would end up telling stories of opportunities that I had and missed out on?

3) The tithes issue.

Fact it is, the tithe is insignificant to my ministry in every way.

I have always insisted that the way Brother Gbenga insists that God must bless us from the waters that flow out of the temple in Ezekiel 47, this is the reality I am standing on daily!

Some people insist on paying tithe to the ministry, but it has to be of their free will.

They are blessed in Christ, and they have all things.

This is my conviction.

I am not one of those who will milk people or take advantage of them.

I do not demand it from anyone.

God is my source of blessings, and you cannot deny that this is very true.

The tithe "plan you came up with is very intrusive, carnal, and ungodly."

I had to condemn it in the most serious language so that you will drop it.

This was why I called it "Pipedream Jakujaku"

Where your heart is, there your treasure will be.

Bringing it up here now was simply petty, you are not seeing the work of blessings we are doing as a ministry; you just want to milk people, and I cannot accommodate that kind of spirit or intention from anyone, even if the person is my wife.

So against this background, you jumped into romance.

Was I the unforgiving one who keeps a record of wrongs?

Was I the one whose anger would lead to malice for many days?

Was I the one who would twist words into knives and stab myself with them over and over again?

I have adjusted so many times for the benefit of the marriage.

Please, when are you going to adjust by dropping the jealousy and insecurity?

Those have been here for 10 years plus.

They are the reason I am insensitive in your sight.

You can drop them and be positive energy or keep them and be negative energy.

It is up to you

Finally, I have taken responsibility for this marriage lasting this long.

If you were in my shoes, we would have been divorced long ago.

Do you recall how much I took in all the insults when you were earning so much and I was earning so little?

Do you remember the early years when there was so much talk about my inability to provide, and all

Do you remember forcing me to work for your older brother, who didn't pay me for my work but rather paid you because you said I couldn't manage money or wealth?

Did I die or hold it over your head?

I have been successful now for 10% of our marriage.

I have denied you nothing.

Spent selflessly on the family, you, and our house

I didn't suddenly start carrying babes and acting up.

I didn't keep the money to myself out of spite.

And yet you couldn't sit up, relax, and enjoy!

You had to fabricate sadness and sorrow.

I believe you should do better!

On the issue of pipe dream jakujaku, I was angry!

I don't want you doing anything for my project.

I don't do things that way.

I will not start by the spirit and proceed by the flesh

I lead as I am led

Please don't make dreams or build dreams or plans around what I am doing.

You have a glorious career and access to funds from me and other loved ones.

Dream big, and I promise to support you to the maximum.

Ownership is your next move, so let's own.

I love you,

Husband

PS: This is the second of three letters from a couple from Ghana

It is important to read all three so that you can piece together details of the relationship and gain wisdom from the written and unwritten facts and factors that surrounded and defined their marriage.

We will be in Lagos on Saturday, if you are going through a marital crisis. I am boldly inviting you. Not only to pray but to learn how to adjust your ways and prosper.

-GSW-