Suppurated

The marriage had been poised on the edge 
of a knife since the very first month after
their wedding
Trying to "build her home" as advised by many
elders in the church had led her into serious
trouble
Her husband had infected her with a sexually
transmitted disease, Pelvic Inflammatory disease!
She knew he was sleeping around like a rabid dog
She had caught him several times chatting with
strange women on his phone and having those
odd phone calls that instinctively sets her on edge
She had fought him over it
She had reported him to the church authority
several times
But he always found a way to pin the blame on
her "overreaction", "jealousy" or "She is trying
to destroy my reputation"
He was an usher
Wearing suit on Sundays like a penguin
Serving the church in the name of serving the Lord
There was nothing Christlike about his lifestyle
She once found Viagra and condom in his pocket
when she was doing the laundry
He was 35 years old, what was he using viagra for?
She knew him intimately
She knew how his mind works
He was the type of guy that would spend money
on a lady and use a stimulant when he wanted
to have sex with the lady so that he can get the 
full value for the money he has spent!
The viagra was not because he couldn't perform
It was an "I must get my money's worth" medicine
The thinking of a child!
She confronted him over the viagra
He denied that it was viagra
She decided to call their pastor and report him
He beat her up, took the drug from her 
and left home
H didn't return home for a whole month!
He had deep-seated issues
He was a danger to society
Before he returned, the church got involved
Of course, the pastors knew he was unfaithful
But it seemed to her that they thought
it was more important that the family stay
together than for the issues to be addressed!
Everybody kept saying God hates divorce
She agreed
But wouldn't God prefer her to live to tell
the story?
Would God prefer murder over divorce?
Of course, the pastors told her the same 
old story
It is not ordinary, this is a spiritual battle
You must fight it with the whole of your
heart!
Why was she the one fighting for him?
How does that work?
Someone is sleep around but it was the
spouse that is praying for him to change
Wasn't the essence of church and sermons
to convert the soul?
Where was it written in the Bible that the
spouse should be the one to pray so that
a so-called "believer" would stop acting 
like an infectious disease!
Her husband had the issues but because he
remained untethered and untrainable, the
church decided to appeal to the sensibilities
of the reasonable wife rather than correct
the erring husband
To the church "A cat and a mouse" keeping
a front of having a good home is a better image
than the reality that If her husband didn't get 
help, the marriage cannot work!"
She had a daughter and didn't want her
to grow up without her father
She felt it would be unfair to the girl
But she had to reconsider her stance after
he raised his hands to beat her
She didn't want her daughter seeing that!
It was more damaging to live with a cheating
violent and abusive father than to live without
a father!
Financially, he had been hypocritically responsible
He doctored his salary package to deceive
her that he was earning way less than he
actually earned!
He did this so that whatever he gave her
for the family upkeep, every month might
seemed very reasonable and flattering to
her!
He needed the extra money for his extra-marital
activities!
She knew what he was up to from day one!
He got the job a month after they got married
He ran home joyfully to share the letter of 
employment with her
The letter included his salary package!
A week later, he returned home to tell her he
was not taking the job
He cited many reasons
He told her he would stay with his old job 
until he got promoted
She acted like a fool and went along with it
But he resumed at the new job a few days later
She knew the very day he resumed
It was premeditated evil!
And he called himself a "Christian"
The root of deception in him was deep
He was cunny and carnal
Very much unlike Christ
And the church loved his kind
He was always running errands for the pastor
The "available" vessel
Pastors need to be ashamed of themselves
sometimes
The way they validate evil deeds of sycophants
 by engaging such in mundane church activities 
not minding that to the carnal-minded person, 
the action of the pastor was like God patting 
them on the back!
One of her husband's hiding places was "Do you
think pastor will associate with me this much
if I was doing anything untoward?
Wouldn't God reveal it to him?
They met at her Father's office
She went to see her father for some money
when she was in the final year
He came to the same office to drop his application
He was looking for a better paying job at the time
He met her at the reception and they got
talking
After about twenty minutes of conversation
she was told her father was ready to see her
and she left him at the reception
By the time she was through with her father
he had left the reception
She met him at the main gate of the company
He had been tacitly waiting for her
He said he had overheard that she was the 
daughter of a big wig in the company
He wanted to leverage on her relationship
with her father to get the job
She didn't see it for what it was at the time
She felt he was just desperate and grasping
at anything to keep from drowning!
They exchanged numbers
Weeks later he got a job at another firm
He called her immediately to share the
good news
From there, they got closer
Until two years later he married her
He was brought up by his mother
His father was married to another woman and
he was the child borne out of wedlock
She had always believed that any man who
was brought up by a strong woman would
appreciate women
She was wrong!
His mother couldn't see anything wrong in his
actions
It was as if she endorsed his lifestyle
She would say "Bear it, why are you always
complaining? A woman must endure!"
When she told him about the viagra, she said 
"He has called me to report himself! When a 
sinner acknowledges his or her sin, there is
no need to keep such on his or her knees"
It was as if it was a conspiracy to drive her crazy!
She was the faithful one
She was the one who married him as a virgin
She was the one who married the "god-fearing"
guy not knowing he was just playing
"Pastor's sidekick"
She was the one who was deceived
lied to by her own husband about everything
She was the victim!
Why does it feel like everybody was acting as
if it is her fault that he was the way he was?
As if she was the one lacking the ability to
hold and engage the interest of her husband at
home 
As if it was her fault that he was cheating!
After she got the diagnosis of having contracted
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease which required
surgery
She decided it was over!
She wouldn't allow him to have sex with her again
She was done with him!
But she didn't have an exit strategy
The surgery took most of her savings
She was working as a front desk officer at
a Stationery store
She told a friend her dilemma
Her friend told her to contact the Brother
in Jeans and T-shirt
Her friend gave her his phone number
and said "He might be of help, just call"!
She got to his office on a Tuesday morning
She told him the whole story
He offered to contact her husband and see
if he could make things work
But she didn't want anything to do with her
husband anymore
She just wanted a better job so that she can
take care of her daughter and move on with
her life
She also needed to be healed!
After the surgery, she had been experiencing
some strange movements in her body
She had complained to the doctor but tests
revealed nothing
He smiled and told her it would be fine
He said "You have been unhappy and bitter
for a long time
Worry, sadness, unforgiveness, anger
malice, bitterness and negative emotions
are the perfect habitations for demons
Demons don't care that you were hurt
They rejoice in your pain because it gives them 
room to thrive and grow
You have to forgive your husband and let
go of the hurt
once you do that, I will bless you!"
By this time her husband had done the 
unthinkable!
After her surgery, the doctor advised that
they shouldn't have sex for a while without
protection
She was determined not to have sex with him
anymore
She was not trying to punish him for infecting
her with a sexually Transmitted Disease
She was just scared!
How could she not be scared?
She had to go through surgery!
Her husband waited two weeks and demanded
for sex
She said NO and he raped her
Without protection!
When he was done all she could do was cry!
He said "I paid for the right
to have sex with you whenever I desire! Why
should you deny me sex? Then he started
calling her all sorts of horrible names!
He left the next morning 
She rushed to the hospital for tests
Luckily she was only prescribed antibiotics
Two days later his friends came to the 
house to pack his clothes and other items
His mother called that same evening to say 
"I went to pray and a prophet saw that you 
were full of vengeance and hell-bent on 
destroying my son"
She just went numb
Why was it so easy to paint a victim as
evil and treat the perpetrator as a victim?
"Of course he told his mother what he did,
that was why his mother rushed out to
a prophet for prayers thinking she would
resort to diabolic means to pay him back!
Why couldn't his mother say "Even though
you are my son, you acted like the devil"
His mother's words were like the death of
a thousand knife cuts!
It was the ultimate stab in Jon Snow's
heart!
She started contemplating suicide and would
have killed herself if not her daughter!
That was the last straw!
How can she forgive such a sadist?
The Brother in Jeans and T-shirt told her
it is a must
She tried but all she could do was cry!
After about an hour of tears, she forced
herself to say the words
"So and so, I forgive you"
They prayed and the Holy Spirit did wonders
She suddenly felt joy and peace
The strange movements in her body stopped
She felt light and cheerful 
She was able to sleep peacefully after
a very long time
One month later, she got a job with a 
Human Rights Organization based in 
Germany
She left her broken reality behind!

PS: This event happened in Omole Phase
II, Lagos 2016
Don't read this story and justify not
fighting for your marriage
Marriage is a tough job!
Cheating spouses are the worst!
God hates Divorce!
I have always told myself I will rather
be real than doctor the truth!
The church needs to do better
Perhaps instead of mega-churches and
crowds in the name of building a successful
ministry, we should do what Jesus said!
"Make disciples!"
We have too many churchgoers.
People close to the pastor and pastors
who knows nothing about the Spirit of Christ!
It is true that Jesus had Judas, but Judas
was also fulfilling prophecy!
Let's stop doing a hash job in marriage 
counselling
Let's pay attention and offer spiritual help
instead of advice 
Some cases are spiritual and should be
handled as such!