Two Cents

The Husband, Spiritual Maturity and Marriage 

I was having a discussion with a 
28-year-old daughter of Zion recently, 
I didn't know her full life story before 
that conversation and I assumed she 
had lived the perfect life (I always 
assume this of everybody who is a 
born-again believer) 
I know how I was before I met the 
Holy Spirit and I know how my walk 
with Him transformed my life. 
I also know that the same way the Holy 
Spirit works in me, he works with 
every one of those who willingly desire 
to walk with him that same way. 
This is why the spiritual gifts we walk-in 
may be different but Christian character 
is always consistent 
Christ is the end product 
It is not difficult to see eighty to ninety 
percent similarities in the character of 
every believer even though one is a 
gifted minstrel and the other cannot 
hold a tune to save his life 
The point is, The Holy Spirit produces 
Christ in all of us 
To know a mature believer, or observe 
the rate at which a believer is maturing, 
just compare such to Christ in their 
speech, their relationship with people 
(Members of the family, friends, 
strangers and so on), their emotional 
intelligence, how do they react to negative 
situations? 
Do they melt down under pressure or 
do they possess that calm assurance 
to which the wind and the waves bow? 
What about their ability to forgive or
 what they say when they are angry? 
Do they bring up past issues or
treat each misunderstanding on its 
own merit etc 
I told this lady certain things, as a 
matter of confidence I said I know 
someone who wouldn't have remained 
married till now if not for the love of God 
that has been shed abroad in his heart 
and his ability to take whatever came by
the power of the Holy Spirit 
I told him the man married his wife a virgin 
and they have children but the wife had 
given him hell from day one 
The wife didn't want him to be rich because 
she believed if a man had money the 
man would cheat on his wife 
(This was not as a result of
something the man did but as a result 
of a mindset she brought into the marriage) 
Every time the husband had a good job, 
she would do everything to sabotage it 
And she did it smiling                            Eventually, the 
husband started a business, as the 
business thrived she tried her best 
to kill it but this man's efforts continued 
to yield so much money 
Eventually, the wife started a rumor 
that one night while she was sleeping, 
she woke up to find this man doing 
something to her head and she couldn't 
tell what it was but it was after then t
hat the man became successful. 
This rumor shook this man to the bone 
He knew the stunts his wife had pulled 
since the beginning of their marriage 
to keep him poor 
His wife once went to his office, logged 
on to the office wifi because he gave her 
the password and download all the 
seasons of Spartacus and another
series deliberately) 
It was against company policy and 
she knew it 
She went to his office on a Sunday 
morning, parked in the parking lot and 
did what she did 
He was sacked for it 
She just shrugged and said sorry 
He had 250,000 Naira saved once, the wife 
found the deposit slip and
started crying "Where did you get so 
much money?" She troubled him until he 
closed the account and handed her 
the cash to add to the following year's 
house rent 
His wife said in the course of her rantings 
"You want to have money so that you 
can carry women? 
You have money now and
the next thing will be to start sleeping 
around" 
He knew she didn't want him to prosper, 
not because she was a witch (She was 
a tongue talking, born again Christian) 
but because of her insecurity issues. 
He discussed the issue with their 
church pastor. 
The pastor and his wife called them for 
a meeting 
His wife cried until the pastor started 
apologizing 
Why was she crying? 
She said her husband went to discuss 
her insecurity issues with outsiders 
So the husband found himself in a fix 
His wife refused to let go of the 
insecurity, she said as far as she
was concerned, it was out of love! 
"If you love me, you will feel the same 
way about me" 
That was her song 
She did not know that she was 
suffocating her husband 
She did not know that she was making 
his life miserable 
She did not know that when her 
husband sees his mates and their 
achievements, he was embittered by 
her pranks and how it had limited him 
in life 
It got so bad that her husband associated 
her with failure and she became an object 
of derision to him 
He knew she didn't want him to succeed 
so he started keeping secrets from her 
so that she would not be able to sabotage 
his plans 
After the husband became successful, 
it became a huge gulf in their marriage 
He was convinced that the only reason 
he was successful was because his wife 
was kept far away from his affairs 
He was determined not to let her 
sabotage his success but
the wife didn't see it that way 
The wife saw his secrets as a way of 
keeping her out of his life and dividing 
their marriage 
She cried day and night "I don't know 
his movement, i don't know his 
business partners, I am a stranger in 
my husband's life" 
She was inconsolable 
The man kept saying it felt to him 
like a fox crying that because it is raining, 
the shepherd should open the door to 
the sheep pen for it" 
As far as the man was concerned, if he 
let her into his affairs, her natural instinct
 would kick in and she would kill his 
source of wealth
So he kept her out. 
Eventually, she went to the pastor and 
reported her husband 
The pastor called the husband 
The husband explained himself with 
examples pastors know about 
The pastor called them to a meeting and 
told the wife that since her husband had 
become wealthy, did she lack anything? 
She said it has nothing to do with money 
She would rather be poor and have her 
home than have a rich husband who would 
be cheating on her 
She said as far as she was concerned if her 
husband could keep his bank balance, 
business partners and other important 
things in his life a secret from her, it wouldn't 
be difficult for him to keep a mistress and 
even a second family somewhere without 
her knowledge 
All she wanted was to return to the point 
where they would not have any secret 
between them 
The pastor told the husband to let her in 
She swore she had changed 
The husband said okay 
The husband gave her the password 
of his phone, told her about his businesses 
and all 
The next thing she did was install the 
Telegram web browser of her husband's 
phone on her laptop so that she can be 
getting real-time information on his 
dealings 
Her husband's business partner was 
from the Philippines 
Her husband had a franchise into one 
of their network marketing products 
This lady wrote a mail under a 
pseudonym and sent it to the CEO of 
the company in the Philippines claiming 
her husband and the woman were
mixing business with pleasure 
The CEO knew the information was not 
true because her husband had never 
met any of them at the Philippines 
They started the business through a 
contact they had in common who was 
in London 
The CEO forwarded the letter to the 
lady's husband 
The husband moved out of the house!
This was the point where the lady
 came crying to the brother in Jeans 
and T-shirt for help 
She had acted like the fox the husband 
said she was and validated the 
husband's concerns about her 
Now she wants divine intervention...
The 28-year-old lady listened to all 
that had been said, then she said
I am exactly like that woman
See, I have slept with a guy 
I didn't love before, and i am not a 
cheating kind of person, but I did it 
to get the password of my boyfriend's 
phone from his friend so that i can 
monitor his phone and protect him 
against all the ladies that might 
want to snatch him from me
I am restless when i am in love and 
I cannot allow any woman to come 
near my husband for any reason
I didn't do what i did because i am 
wicked or controlling or manipulative
I am not like that
I was protecting my own territory
I know men are helpless against 
the wiles of ladies, especially Christian
men who are gullible and simple
I did not know it is wrong but as you 
were speaking to me, I realized how
my behaviour could easily be 
misconstrued to mean something 
else entirely.
I am happy you shared this with me
It has helped me a great deal and
i will change from today!
Wow.
Her statement shocked him
How can a spirit-filled young woman
he considered spiritually mature be
suffering from jealousy and insecurity?
The one thing the gospel should do
within the heart of every believer is
instill in them a supernatural security
and a sense of being owned beyond
marriage and other mundane stuff
Christ is my owner, i gave my life to
Him willingly and i sincerely do
not care to be owned by another
either maritally or otherwise!
That is how i am and It is How I
assumed every believer was until
this lady's confession.
Nobody wants to be possessed by
another person or even a spirit 
apart from the Holy Spirit
Many of us don't get this and we
make our own lives and the lives
of others around us miserable for
no reason at all.
At the end of the day, he who kept
his life would lose it
The same goes for the one who
insists on keeping a human being
a prisoner instead of as a companion
This is where spiritual maturity 
comes into play
After some pleas and intervention from
friends and family members
The Pastor forgave his wife and
moved back home
His marriage was preserved and
the wife got counseling and started
changing by the help of the Holy
Spirit
She got to know that the joy of
a believer springs from within and
does not depend on any factor
outside of his or her spirit.
She got better!
As a matter of fact, i can count 
many marriages in which the wife
did not do half of what this woman
did and the home was broken
irrevocably
I have seen prophets manipulate 
men out of their marriages through
fake prophesies and lies
I have seen parents manipulate
their children out of good marriages
in the name of "I went to pray about
it"
IF a man or woman was spiritually mature, he
is the bishop of his home and he
wouldn't be susceptible to the whims
and caprices of the devil and people
but if you marry a spiritually immature
man or woman and you are a believer
he or she will do whatever and be led 
however
He or she will become  a prayer point for
you
You will fast until you are mere bones
You will end up going from one pastor
to the other seeking help
Your promise land will be filled with
thorns and thistles
He or she will do everything as led by 
his senses, your fat bones will become
dry and crusty
Spiritual maturity (not religion), spirit
filled (Not God fearing) is a 
must for you to enjoy your marriage.

PS: A friend of mine once wanted to
deal with his cheating wife, he took
a lady to hotel and paid for the room
They were both on the bed, naked!
He couldn't go through with it
He cried and cried and returned
home to his wife
Why?
The Holy Spirit constrained him.
He forgave his wife and took her 
back
A carnal man will never do that
His reputation will be at stake
How could you bring a woman to
a bed and not perform
Do you know what she will tell her
friends?
A good man is not enough
A spirit-filled man or woman is the 
definition of peace of mind in a 
marriage.

GSW's notes: I saw a thread on
twitter which prompted this
particular story
I have seen many desperate women
settling for anything only to find
themselves thanking God after their
divorce that they were able to come
out of it with their lives intact!
Don't join them
Let your first love be Christ
The Holy Spirit will build you up
as you grow in Him